Mind Over Matter
by Pepe Le Pew
Summary: Set during X-men: Origins. She had no intention of ever liking him. Hell she had no intention of ever even speaking to him. The keyword was HAD. Now she won't allow them to take him away from her. All she needed, was to find James. Wade/OC
1. Chapter 1

Kelly sat quietly in the back of the class. In the furthest corner, right next to the window, sitting by the window allowed opportunity for her to pretend. Music blasted loudly in her ears, the headband like headphones concealed by the large black hoodie she wore. It had been, once upon a time, her brother's hoodie.

She knew that the kids in her immediate vicinity could hear her music. At the front Mrs. Carlton was pretending not to know she wasn't paying attention. She didn't care anymore. She knew what the woman was saying even if she wasn't listening. The music blocked everything out.

The music allowed her to pretend her head wasn't bursting, wasn't feeling like it was going to explode any moment now. The music allowed her to pretend that the headache behind her eyes, pressing, shoving, twitching, hurting, was just your average headache that could be fixed with a couple of Advil.

She couldn't remember when it started. She woke up with a headache a couple of weeks ago and since it had just gotten worse. Her grades have dropped since. And her grades never drop. But she just couldn't think with this pounding in her head.

She hissed softly as a particularly painful volt went through her head. It felt like electricity. She pressed the glasses harder against her eyes, half trying to block out one pain by causing another. It didn't work. The headache was still there.

After the first week of this she started carrying prescription painkillers with her. She had swiped something like twenty bottles when the doctor hadn't looked. Just shoved her hand behind a group of them and pushed them into her backpack. She felt like a drug addict. It was the third, maybe fourth week now. People didn't just drink painkillers; they drank them only when they had headaches. She shouldn't have gone through sixteen bottles of painkillers in less than a month. That wasn't normal.

But the headaches weren't the worst of it. The most painful, horrible part, yes, but not the worst of it. Ever since they started things seemed to have changed. The brush of someone's hand had her seeing things. Things about them, their lives, she assumed. There was the occasional repeating of something the teachers would say, when no one in the class spoke, but the teacher and they were already on a different subject during the class.

The painkillers and Advil didn't take those away either.

Somewhere around…

_God, why can't he just shut…_

_He's going to kill us…_

If we can just find her…She's probably cute…

_Scared shitless and in pain…_

Her gaze snapped to the door of her English lit class. She slammed her books shut and dropped it into her backpack. She could tell the voices weren't here for the other kids. They were looking for her. She was scared shitless and she was in pain. Whoever they were they were looking for her. "Kelly?" She had zipped up her bag and thrown it over her shoulders.

She gazed at Mrs. Carlton. She didn't know what to say to the woman. "Doctor's appointment. I forgot. I'm late." She barely explained as she ran to the door and out of it, slamming it behind her

The hall was empty. She had been sure that whomever the voices had belonged to had been nearby. She had never really heard voices from far away. They had always been in confined spaces. Like the classrooms she had once loved. She ignored it and took off down the hall; everyone else was still in class. It was finally just her and the music and the pounding behind her eyes.

She snuck into the front offices and grabbed her car keys from the rack. They were supposed to leave it there to discourage skipping school. There was no way of getting the keys back without a formal letter from the principal. Unless of course you stole the keys to your own car, which she was doing now.

She jogged outside and dropped her bag on the seat next to the driver's side. The truck used to be her brother's truck as well. It was black in colour and big. More often than not she felt like an ant in it, but she's never given it up.

She pulled out of the parking lot, she recently started parking closest to the exit of the lot and furthest from the school, with a loud roar.

She was speeding, she knew that, but she just needed to get home. Her mom had been very supportive as of late. Her dad had distanced himself. Why she didn't really understand. She couldn't figure any of it out. It all more than just a little weird. For years it had been her mom who was distant and her father who she could talk to her. She didn't question it too much. She hated that everything started to change once the headaches started up.

She sped down the street, trying hard to concentrate on anything but the headache. Driving was like a second nature to her by now. It had become like breathing itself.

The shot of smoky mist collecting into a human form had her slamming down on the breaks and turning the steering wheel, forcing the truck to skid horizontally across the road. She stared at the man through the window and slowly reached over to grab her backpack. Her painkillers were in there and it was going to be a long run home. She didn't want to leave the truck, but people didn't appear out of nowhere in the middle of the road.

She carefully opened the truck, grabbing the keys, got out and shut the door again. She watched him over the back of the black truck. Her head was pounding badly now. It was probably heightened by her fear. The man watched her as she watched him. She couldn't hear a thing from him. She couldn't hear anything but the music and the pounding headache. The open, she assumed it was the open that blocked the voices from filling her head. Or voice, it was only one person. She didn't like standing there, watching him. She reached up, slowly and pulled the headphones off. The normal sounds returned to her. Birds chirping, the sound of a soft breeze, cars in the far off distance and a few cows here and there.

She lived in a small Texan community. Her father had moved them to the place about two months back. Wearing the hoodie in the sweltering heat was killing her. But it didn't matter much, it kept her arms from being reachable by people. She wore fingerless gloves as well, another thing that kept to minimum contact.

She could also hear the noise from her headphones, they might now be dangling around her neck, but she had it on loud enough to cause her to still hear it. Her head pounded.

The man smiled at her just as two large arms wrapped around her in a deadlock, just above her elbows and digging painfully into her arms. She did it automatically. It was something Carter had always tried to force into her. She brought her hands up and touched the arms, while shifting her feet into a more balancing position. Her good thoughts went out the window the moment her bare fingers touched the skin of whoever was behind her.

She saw a firing squad and two men. A prison cell with the same two men. A man with medals. Military. She saw war. Everywhere. The sounds. The guns. The explosions. There were always two men, the same two men. From the civil war to the last war in whichever place there was last a war. The wars shifted to two young men, the lives they led and then younger and again younger, it came to a sick looking little boy impaling a man on claws that came from his knuckles and then running and being caught by the boy who was always there. Then it shifted to even younger. It was all life defining moments in the man's life.

And through all this her head felt like it was going to explode. She dropped her arms and her head. Her breathing ragged. She couldn't think straight. The only reason she probably did drop her arms was because she didn't have the energy left to hold them up. Her hair was plastered against her forehead and her hands shaking.

Fleeting touches has never left her this traumatized before. That could also be because the worst that happens, in the people she could possibly touch, lives are a bad case of the runs. "Stryker! Stryker! Do something! Colonel!" The man behind her shouted to someone.

The headache was fading. It was probably because she was loosing consciousness. She wasn't sure.

She woke a couple of hours later on the cream coloured couch in their living room. Kelly's first immediate thought was that she had made it home, and had probably just fallen asleep on the couch. She hadn't been sleeping well with the headache constantly running through her head.

But then she remembered the kid killing some man claiming to be his father. The other one, who had been playing with a knife earlier in the sick kid's room and the wars. She remembered the wars worst of all. The guns and the explosions and the people dying, things she had never before had to deal with. She was safe in their cosy little manor of a house.

She sat up slowly, the headache already back and so familiar. She ran a hand over her face and wondered if she hadn't dreamt all of it. Her parents wouldn't be home from work for another maybe six or eight hours. After all, she had left school barely twenty minutes after it had started.

She glanced around. The backpack was where she would leave it. She ran her hands down her face again and nodded to herself. She had dreamt all of it. She was working herself into a frenzy and had only dreamt it all. She slowly got up went to her bag, pulling a little orange bottle, with maybe a little less than half the pills it used to have, out and walked to the kitchen. She grabbed one of the eight glasses on the counter and stepped away from it.

She dropped it, allowing it to crash to the ground, as, for a fleeting moment, past happenings of the glass shot through her mind. A guy, Asian by the looks of it, wearing a tux had been drinking water from it. She glanced back and noticed the glasses for real, this time and stared at them.

She decided not to touch them. Decided that she didn't wan more glasses trying to tell her a story. She walked to the cupboard and pulled the sleeve of her hoodie down to open it, she then pulled a clean glass from it and walked to the fridge, she used the sleeve to open the door as well and grab the water pitcher. She poured the water and set it back inside the fridge. She kicked the door shut, and flicked the lid onto the island counter before tapping four pills out and replacing the lid. She leaned back into the fridge and watched the glasses as she put the pills in her mouth.

It was as if they could tell her a story by just standing there. She gulped the water and pills down before slowly drinking it and continuing to study the glasses. She knew her parents wouldn't be back before six in the evening, a quick glance at the clock to it was ten. Nine more hours. She had been wrong earlier.

A lot could happen in nine hours.

"You are awake. Good." A man said walking into the kitchen from the hall leading to the study and library and downstairs bathroom and also the stairs. She had come from the door leading to the living room, dining room and television room.

She recognized him as the man from the cell. Seven more men walked in, from the same direction. One was the Asian man who had been drinking from the now broken glass and two of them were from the wars. She didn't move from the fridge. Didn't uncross her legs of push away from balancing herself against the fridge. She knew that she should probably have been running from the back door and out towards the horses' camp where she could've taken one of the horses and rode to the nearest place of civilization, but she didn't. Curiosity kept her rooted to the spot.

A lot could happen in nine hours. She didn't recognize any of the other men around. Except the black man. He had been the one to appear in the middle of the road. He was probably from Texas with his hat and boots and whole given attitude. "Shouldn't you be screaming, running in fear and having us catch you?" The guy who spoke had two swords, katana, strapped to his back. She studied the swords more than she did the guy. He was right, she should be running, but running and then being caught only leaded to the fact of them touching her again and she didn't want to be touched.

She shrugged. "I'm fine where I am, thanks." She took a sip of water.

The Asian man's eyes flicked to the broken glass. "How are you feeling?" The military guy asked.

She didn't answer him for a moment, just watched him quietly and trying to figure out why they were even near her house. "You're not a doctor." She told him.

He laughed. The sound didn't sound all that bright and cheerful to her. "No, I am not. I'm a Colonel and have created a special team for the CIA." The Colonel told her.

She nodded slowly. The headache should've dulled by now. But as always it was still burning hard behind her eyes. "Then you don't need to know how I'm feeling." She told him.

"I can help you." He said.

She laughed. She knew she was going to cry if she didn't stop soon, but couldn't seem to be able to stop. Her laughter soon turned to sobs. "My doctor can't help me," she said between laughing sobs, "and you think some CIA colonel can help me. I'm sick!" She screamed at him. "There's nothing that can help me!" She continued to scream as she slid down the fridge. "I'm hallucinating and hearing things. Whatever I have is killing me."

"You aren't sick and you aren't insane, if that is what you are thinking. And you are not dying." He said.

She ignored him, just tried to regain her senses and bearings. She evened her breathing out. She could still feel tears slipping down her face and closed her eyes. Trying not to think, she didn't need to think and she knew it. Thinking led to a worse headache. "You still can't stop it." She told him eventually.

"Oh?" He sounded amused. He walked around the counter island and crouched in front of her. "When you touch people you see things. Things about them. You can hear the thoughts of people." She stared at him. "You're a mutant, my dear. You have a mutation in your genes that allow you to be able to do this. I can help you train to control it." He said further on.

"A mutant?" She asked in a disbelieving tone.

The door banged open and her head snapped up. She heard her parents arguing in the front lobby and cursed. She scrambled past him and grabbed at the pieces of the glass, she quickly threw them away. She packed the glasses in the dishwasher and turned to the voices coming closer now. She was about to tell the group to disappear when she realized they were already gone. For a moment she wasn't sure if she had imagined the whole conversation as well.

Her mother walked through the door with a serene smile on her face and her father with a dark scowl. He glared at her for a long time. "Why aren't you in school?" He asked angrily. "You lied and told them you were going to the doctor." He continued.

She glanced at the door, the only door through which they could've gone. The door that led to the library, study and downstairs bathroom and also the stairs. "My head." She answered. "It's killing me and I figured if I could just lay down for a bit, it would go away." She was glad that her dad hadn't discovered her stash of painkillers. He'd have caught a fit.

He sighed and turned back to the door, probably going back to work again. "You need to stop with the headaches, Kelly. I understand that you miss him. But you have to stop living a life that doesn't belong to you and you have to stop trying to create his presence. He's gone." She didn't wait for anything else, jogged out to the foyer, grabbed her backpack and ran upstairs. She hated talking about Carter.

If they weren't trying to make he go to a therapist about him, they were telling her she needed to stop trying to remember him. She hated them for it. They had no idea how hard it was. How hard it was to realize he'd never be back. She walked into her room and like any teenager slammed the door as hard as possible, regretting it a moment later.

She felt like pulling her hair out of her head. She spun around, ready to just dive onto her bed and forget everything that's happened recently. She could hear her parents arguing lightly downstairs as they went back to their cars. She didn't get the chance to take her own bed. The guy with the katana was on it, boots and all. Legs crossed and studying one of the orange bottles next to him. She sighed. Now she was going to have to convince her dad to buy her a new bed. "You just ruined any chance I might have of actually being able to sleep." She said with a sigh.

"You need to lay of the painkillers." He answered.

She walked up to him, knowing she was going to regret it later, pulling her fingerless glove from her right hand off and dropping it to the floor. She pressed her hand to his cheek and projected every bit of the headache she had been feeling for the last three or four weeks onto him.

No amount of headache could stop the torrent of his history slamming into her. Everything. From his father to the military to becoming a mercenary to becoming a soldier for Stryker.

By the time she felt like she had punished him sufficiently enough she knew far more about him than she'd like to have known. She could feel the cold sweat running down her back and didn't need to look to know she was shaking. She felt cold to the bone.

She could probably blame it on not having ever met someone who willingly killed people for money.

She dropped onto the plush purple carpet and studied him. He was whining now. She felt him as he walked in. James Howlett, the guy who had tried to stop her from running. She hated it. She always knew when people she had touched entered a room she was in. It was like their presence mingled with the air around them and then directed its attention to her, shouting at her that they have arrived. Like she needed to know they have arrived. "There's a bottle of painkillers in the table next to you." She told him after a moment. His whining was working on her head. And he never shut up.

"Why does he need painkillers?" The Asian man asked.

She stared out her window for a long time. "Because I gave him a headache." She muttered eventually.

There was silence around her. "You can project what you are feeling onto others?" Colonel Stryker asked.

"Yes. Some. All I really did was take a headache from his life and enhanced it to the point of what I feel daily." She said.

"You can alter memories." He muttered. She nodded slowly. "But you cannot distinguish the one from the other. While altering a memory you still see the person you touches past. I can help you."

She studied the blue sky. "Fine." She muttered and got up. "I'll go with you. As long as you get me away from here."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

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* * *

Kelly sighed darkly as James's voice floated through her room. Her head felt strangely empty. There was no pounding, now voices, there was nothing. Her head was finally her own. She had finally done it the day before. After six months of torturous training, she's finally done it. She finally saw nothing. She finally didn't hear anything when she touched someone.

She threw the blankets off her and started to get dressed. The first day of her stay she told James to go away ten times before he sent Chris. Chris told her six times to get up and when that didn't work, they sent Wilson, who threw her with icy cold water. She did not care to repeat that experience.

She brushed her hair out and tied them high as usual and splashed some water onto her face and walked out to the kitchen. She would shower when training was over. She wasn't taking three showers a day in this place. She had barely thirty minutes before the water would turn cold, and that was her reason for not showering in the mornings. It seemed like the rooms were on timers. If she didn't shower in the mornings she had an hour's warm water in the afternoon. It was also a waste to shower, get all sweaty and shower again.

She walked out to the kitchen. As always they were already up. She knew James let her sleep at least two hours longer than they did. As usually she ignored them. The only ones she spoke to were Chris and James. She stayed the hell far away from Victor and Wilson more often than not pissed her off, so she stayed away from him as well. She hadn't had much to do with John or David of Fred, and she kept it that way. The less she had to do with them, the less the chances of her getting attached to them.

She grabbed her plate of cookies. She's eaten cookies since she was six-years old for breakfast. After day six, when she got up, James would have her apple juice and cookies ready, and six painkillers as well. She left the painkillers where he had left them and took her plate and glass and went to sit with Chris, like it was routine to do.

She ignored them and ate in silence. She just quietly watched as James and David threatened each other. She watched as Victor promised Wilson a torturously slow and painful death if he didn't shut up in the next few minutes. She watched as Fred told John about the new girl he's met and how he loved her and was going to marry her one day. She watched as Chris played with a light bulb, flicking it on, then off.

She liked watching him do that. Strangely it calmed her down, at first it allowed her to pretend her head wasn't pounding and to sleep when James wasn't around to keep her company.

That was what she liked about them. There had been nights where neither James nor Chris got anymore than maybe three or two hours of sleep because they were trying to clam her down while she cried herself to sleep. The first two weeks, they had looked like hell. And since if she was having trouble sleeping, James told her stories about the war (and none of the grisly stuff because Victor had threatened to strangle her if she ever so much as yelped him awake again) or Chris would flick the light bulbs as they talked.

She only talked to them. In the last six months she had conned Stryker into leaving Chris behind twenty-six times. Once every week. And during those times he'd watch her train. And with him watching her train, they started talking.

James had started talking to her after the first few days. She was sick to the bone after Stryker had just made her go through touching six people. Victor, Fred, David, Chris, John and himself. Then she couldn't control anything at all and she was sick for what felt like hours, but had only been a few minutes. He was always there when she got sick after training.

She never spoke to the others. She had just never found a reason to talk to them. Or anything to talk about. Wilson was just a different case. She didn't want to talk to him.

A soldier walked in, two katana in his hand. Wilson looked confused, he was already carrying two of his and six 9 mm guns and maybe two clips for each gun. She grabbed her plate and held into her lap as he dropped in front of her with a loud clatter. She automatically started pushing it to their respective owners, when he pulled it back and smirked at her. "They're yours." He said and walked away.

She assumed they were still pissed at her. The first day eight of them had touched her in a way she hadn't been too fond of, so she told James. He sent six of them to the hospital. After that Stryker said that any man who so much as thinks about touching her inappropriately will be released from service at the hands of Victor and Wilson.

She stared at him as he went and slowly returned her attention to the weapons in front of her. She slowly ate her cookies. Stryker was insane if he thought she was carrying all of this with her. He was even more insane if he thought she was going out of this place without practicing first.

Stryker walked in and sighed. "Well. It seems West was here." He muttered. "Pick which you want and go pack, we're leaving in two hours from Africa." He said and started to walk away.

"I'm not going." She said simply.

He stopped and smirked. "You see. That was part of the deal. I teach you and you work for me. I want you on this mission. Be glad I didn't make you go earlier." He stalked away after that.

She returned her attention to the guns and swords. She shoved the swords towards Wilson. She held no interest in them. Beautiful or not, they weren't what she'd find useful in a fight. She studied the guns and pushed four of them to David and kept six of the loaded clips.

She stood up a moment later, grabbing all of this and two cookies before walking to her room. She still needed to pack as Stryker had said and she needed to shower and brush her teeth. It took her thirty minutes to finish, just before the water was shut off, she was finished. She was going to talk to Stryker about the water problem and being the only woman at base. It was unfair that she got so little warm water. She didn't exactly have half inch hair. How James survived it with that do of his, she didn't really understand, or maybe he just woke up like that, she wouldn't know.

Packing took her less than a minute. She had learned from watching Chris pack. He packed a bare minimum of clothes as they never stayed long in one place and armed him to the hilt. She didn't arm herself to the hilt, she took the guns, her bare minimum of clothes and sat on the bed until the full two hours were over and James called her to go.

She went to the kitchen and grabbed ten bags of cookies. The cookies were to keep her calm. And she knew that was a lie. She wasn't exactly a nervous eater on the contrary she stopped eating when she was nervous. But this would keep her mouth busy and no reason to talk to anyone. She joined them as they filed into the plane and studied the plane for a moment before getting on. She sat on the other side of James.

She glanced at Wilson when he told Victor about his ex-girlfriend's wedding. She was half amused at Victor's response, but John looked at her. "Did he really do that?" He asked and suddenly the whole plane was paying attention to her.

She knew she should've taken a bite of cookie before they spoke to her; so instead, she nodded slowly. "Yeah. He did." She answered with a shrug. "And he probably would've killed the guy too, if she wasn't threatening him." She continued.

"You know, it's really unfair how you know everything about us, and we know nothing about you." He said. "For all we know you are some drug addict with a super sensitive attitude and could snap at any moment and kill us."

She ignored him and gazed intently at the roof of the plane. "I'm me. What you've seen for the last six months is just that." She said simply. She wasn't even sure why she's talking to him. No one but Chris knew the truth about anything about her. And that was probably just an accident. He wasn't supposed to know. But she knew he wouldn't say anything.

Wilson snorted. "That is the biggest load of bullshit, I've ever heard."

She glared at him. "Really? Well, the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard – correction – seen, was a jealous boyfriend threatening to cut his ex's fiancé into pieces. How's that for bullshit?" She tapped her finger against her mouth and smirked at him. "On the bullshit list, you rank number one, I don't even reach the top ten of the list." She went back to ignoring him as Wilson grumbles something incoherently.

She feels her stomach flip as Chris takes the plane down. She shouldn't have eaten all that cookies. By the time they land its dark, it's hot and she feels like she could throw up. "It's an eight kilometer walk from here, let's go." Stryker informed them.

She didn't like him. Not at all. First he tortures her and calls it training. Second he forces her on a mission when she feels she's not yet prepared. Third he puts her in small confined spaces with Wade Wilson. Fourth he wants her to walk eight kilometers in the dark, in the middle of Africa, with a bulletproof vest and guns that felt like they weighed a ton. There was something wrong with the bastard.

She knew she shouldn't play with guns. Guns were dangerous. Especially aimed at someone. And even more so when no one was looking and that same someone had their back turned. But she swore. If he said one more word – rather loudly – about her, she was going to shoot him. Right in the back of his head and see if he'd be able to stop that bullet.

…

Ok she won't, but the thoughts are pleasing, satisfying. There is nothing wrong with imagining the death of someone seriously, seriously annoying and who never shuts up. Of course, she figured, he wouldn't be the person he was if he did shut up. There was a good possibility that his talking was a mechanism against what he had done, what he was still doing.

Of course, she could also be wrong.

She couldn't imagine any woman wanting to date a man who kills for a living. It is just sick and twisted.

"You know, if you stare at me any longer, I'm going to combust. And I'm quite certain that I'm currently enjoying life. Also, who would want a pretty face like mine gone? Not you, I'm certain." He said, bring her out of her thoughts.

She stuffs the gun away and jogs to catch up with James. She turns around and walks backward, she could see James looking at her. "A man who calls himself pretty; isn't my type! But hey, whatever floats your boat, Pretty-boy." She called out to him, snickering as she turned back to the front.

James shakes his head. "You shouldn't do that. Wilson's a trained man. He kills without thought. He will kill you without flinching if that's what it takes." He says.

She simply shrugs. She wasn't afraid of Wilson. "Let him try." She challenged the air. She knew how he moved. She knew how each and every muscle contracts and relaxes as he swung those swords around. She knew the routine behind them. When he would shift the routine and start up a new one. She knew too much just from touching him once.

He won't touch her. He won't be able to.

They came to a fenced of building. Whatever it was that was going on inside, had her wondering about how much of it was really an interest to Stryker. She wondered how much of it were actually legal business. She turned herself away from the sight of David shooting the people.

She knew now that the cookies she had eaten, she shouldn't have eaten. She felt her stomach churn and she felt her throat burn. Wilson smirked at her and ruffled her hair. "Soldiers are born, not made." He said softly as he passed her.

This time she's aiming for real, safety pulled back; ready to prove she's as much a soldier as he is.

Until he turns around and sends a cocky grin her way. He doesn't even flinch. He just stands there and waits. Whether it was because he wanted to die (she highly doubted that) or because he knew she wouldn't (she just knew it was this, how could she not know?) she didn't know.

But she never shoots. Her hands shake as Stryker tells them to stop joking around and move their asses. She drops the gun slowly, and looks away from him. Into the dark as he laughs and walks away. She didn't follow them, as she should have.

She could see the room flashing with people shooting and she just knew upstairs things were happening that she didn't want to see.

She stood outside. As quietly as the night and aiming directly at a tree. Safety clip pulled back and aiming. But she couldn't do. She couldn't even shoot a tree. Her hands were starting to get cold. She was starting to get cold. The air around her was cold. There was silence all around her and she couldn't even pull the trigger to shoot a tree.

Soldiers were born, not made.

She just couldn't do it. She just couldn't shoot a tree, much less a human being. And the one person she dislikes most is the one that proves this to her. How much of a complete idiot, moron, was she to have something about her proven by a man who didn't even know her?

A gloved hand landed on the barrel of the gun. Dragging her from the tree and her empty head. She was suddenly wishing for the headache, her head had never been this empty without it. He was smirking at her. "It's just a tree. It's not going to pull its roots and kill you." He said, he sounded amused. He almost sounded happy.

She let go of it and flung her left hand out in a punch. It was a stupid idea to begin with, she rarely allowed her temper to get the hand of her, but he just invoked it. The gun dropped to the ground completely as he swiftly lifted his hand and caught her fists, twisting her arm around and shoving it up against her back painfully. He had turned her around, so she was standing in the same position, and swiped her feet from under her. She lay face first on the dirt, the gun a few hands from her face, her other arm now also twisted back painfully.

She didn't struggle against him. There was no point. She was just going to end up hurting herself. She knew her wrists were going to be bruised in the morning. "You know. I've always liked having a woman under me." He said almost thoughtfully.

"Wilson. Get off her." Stryker's voice filtered through the air.

She felt the strain of her arms relax and rolled over; she stared past him at the sky. He was still standing over her, his feet apart and one either side of her hips. She could see the stars clearly, twinkling in the sky. She felt him as he moved and slowly got to her feet again.

She turned back to the tree for a moment as she got the gun and then followed him.

She listens to the conversation with little to no interest. She had no idea why Stryker was so interested in a meteor.

She catches sight of a shadow a few meters behind Wilson and deserts her post to go check it out. They didn't seem to notice her as and she easily slipped away. She had walked through what looked like an archway behind Wilson and into a clear open space. There was nothing there.

She pulled the gun out again. A sense of security the only reason she did it anyway. She walked further into the clearing and suddenly felt the oppressing darkness around her. The clearing had nothing above it. The moonlight didn't seem to touch it and the ground was littered with stones. From the smallest pebble to the size of boulders, and they were all in the same color as that rock Stryker had brought back from that building.

The darkness created by the stones was half surreally beautiful. Serene and clam and almost as if it belonged nowhere else than in this clearing. As if whatever came in contact with it would have nothing to fear, that it would always be there to protect and serve them.

A small crack, like someone stepping on a twig travelled through the air. She spun around and aimed the gun. Three small children, dark in the night, stood a few meters from her. She lowered the gun, not even thinking about aiming at them. There was no point. She wasn't going to ruin her good conscious by aiming a gun at small children. They muttered a word. A language she didn't understand. Unless they could suddenly speak Spanish, Italian or French, she didn't think she'd ever understand them.

She didn't know what it meant, or what it could possibly mean to them, but she figured it meant something like you don't belong here. She slowly nodded and backed up, out of the clearing and into the village area. She was met with a quiet team who didn't even notice her there; she quietly snuck around until she was a few steps from the entrance, they had used, to the village. She frowned. "Where's James?" She asked.

The attention snapped to her immediately, but they didn't answer, Victor just stalked past her and the others followed. Chris walked the slowest, allowing her to fall into step with him. "James left." He said quietly.

She stared at his back for a long time as she followed him. She glanced around her. Wherever James was in this place, she hoped he was ok.

She forced the feelings of pain and betrayal and abandonment down. He owed her nothing. She owed him her life. She sat quietly on the plane for a long time. Into probably more than just half the flight when she remembered the word those kids had uttered. She muttered it softly. The word had a sense of importance to it. "What?" Wilson asked.

She repeated it and studied his expression. "So…what's it mean?" She asked when he didn't reply on it further. He had been silent since they got on the plane. It scared her. Wilson wasn't supposed to be silent.

"It means sacred." He answered; a questioning glint behind his eyes.

She nodded slowly. Sacred. She figured if it was sacred, then no one was allowed there. And if it was sacred she ought to keep her mouth shut about it.

She sighed and looked to her side where James should've been.

She wasn't going to sleep well tonight. She already missed him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Enjoy...and leave a review. Thanks to those who have reviewed already!**

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Kelly choked back another sob and tried to wriggle out of the bastard's grip. She didn't want to watch this. The tangy smell of blood filled the air. Around her the screams of the villagers soared into the night sky. The man holding her was a common soldier. There was nothing special about him, except that he worked for Stryker and was abnormally large. And he was apparently emotionless as Wilson, David and Victor tore into the small village they had left a year ago.

She closed her eyes and felt more tears slip down her face. She tried to control the sobs building up. She tried to think about something else, but the moment she opened her eyes he struggling started anew. And this time she got away.

She wormed her hands around so she could get a good grip on the soldier's hands. If he had any idea of what she was doing, he wasn't too concerned about it. She concentrated hard on collecting only a few memories, and most of them were times he was in serious pain, and reverted it back to him. She intensified the pain he remembered and that he was feeling it all over his body. A moment later he gasped and stumbled back from her.

Her body now her own again and usable to herself, she sprinted straight down the street. Straight towards Wilson. Kelly felt like she wasn't really getting anywhere. Like the harder she ran, the further they seemed to go. He had a gun in his hand. He apparently didn't feel like cutting children up, not that it mattered; he was already covered in the blood of innocents. The shots rang out clearest to her and she froze, mid step and nearly tumble over.

The three small bodies thudded to the ground. She remembered them. They were the ones who had told her the land was sacred. She just stood there, she couldn't move, she couldn't think, she couldn't breath.

The sudden silence was so pressing it was hard to believe it was ever even disgruntled by sound. The stars twinkled deceptively above them. The streets showed the truth. Blood seeped out of houses where people were killed in the door. It run down the street from bodies left there. People covered the expanse of the village in various assortments of fatal wounds. Some were cut up, other was shot and many of them were gutted. Whether they were kids or not, again Victor had gone and done what he enjoyed most: slowly and torturously killing people.

She heard the soft thudding of people walking on the sanded streets and snapped back to reality. She didn't really want to be in reality. Not at all, but she was going to be damned to hell before they caught her unaware. She spun around. Behind her were two houses and a small alley. To her right were Stryker and the ignorant bastard, who seemed to be still remembering a pain he's never felt. She felt a twisted satisfaction. In front of her was David and about two or three meters to David's right was Victor. To her left was Wilson. "We do not have all night, Kelly. I'd like to get to the clearing now." Stryker said flatly, his tone so damn casual that it could almost have been pretended that he didn't just order three men to kill a whole village.

She laughed. Hysteria. She was hysterical. For the first time in her whole life she had become hysterical. Her day had been hell before it even started. Chris had left and she remembered every word she said to him.

_One-thirty AM:_

The door creaked open. It normally never creaked. It was the first sign of something bad going to happen. It was also what woke her. When she saw Chris's small silhouette she knew though.

Six months after James left, John just wasn't at the breakfast table anymore. Two months later Fred was also gone. Stryker never looked for them. He never questioned their decisions. He just went along with it. The fact that Chris even thought of staying, much less actually staying as long as he did, surprised her. She knew it was because of her. If he left, there was no one she'd actually talk to. There wasn't anyone she'd even think of taking into her confidence. The rest of them scared the hell out of her. The one was a murderous bastard – no, that's incorrect, they're all murderous bastards.

Chris should've gotten out a long time ago. Ages ago. But he didn't because of her. She guessed everything Stryker made them do now was harder to deal with and making it even harder to stay. She sat up because he always knew when she was pretending. He smiled sadly at her in the dim light he created with the light bulb. "I can't stay, you get that right?" She almost laughed, but caught herself at the last moment and nodded slowly. "You need to get out too. Now. You can come with me. By the time they figure out we'd be long gone and you can start looking for James." She's wanted to go looking for James since he had left, but she never really got down to it.

She shook her head. "I'll be fine. If we all leave so right on each other, Stryker's going to get all weird about it. Just go." She said waving her hand in the doors direction.

He nodded slowly and smiled sadly again. "If you ever need me. I'll be at some carnival. With a lot of lights." He said.

She almost laughed again. "Yeah. I'll find you one day." She said with a determined nod.

He walked up to the bed and kissed the top of her head. "You've been the best kid sister anyone could want." He said as he ruffled her hair and walked to the door. He stopped there. "Carter would've been proud of you." He was gone before she could reply.

The bulb above her head flickered brightly and then died down. She sat on the bed for a long time. How long she, wasn't sure. She just sat there.

_Present:_

"You want the clearing?" She said between laughs. "Find it yourself. I'm done. It's over. I quit."

Stryker sighed and looked annoyed. "Armstrong." He had a warning in her tone.

"This is what you deem punishment?!" She screamed. She pointed to Victor and Wilson. They were covered in blood. "They were innocent! They had nothing to do with this! I chose not to tell you and you wipe out a whole village! No." She backed towards the alley. Her vision blurring with tears. "I won't help you. You all can go rot in hell." She spun around and started running. In the year she's been working for this bastard, running had become like a second nature.

She had also learned how to be faster than all of them, except most of the time Victor. Victor had the speed of a pretty fast animal, but he also had bulk. He was huge. And he wore a long black coat; it made him even heavier. David never went any where without his guns. He was light, built for speed, and that freakish ability to jump very high (not that she was one to judge, to each his own and all that nonsense), he was fast, but he always carried his guns, and there wasn't just one of them and bulletproof vests were heavy. Wilson was probably the worst of them all; he had somehow learned to run really fast with those guns and katana he carried.

But if she dropped the guns and clips and the vest she was supposed to wear, took of the slightly heavy camouflage jacket, she out ran them by a good start. She could out ran Victor if she had a head start and took him by surprise.

And she's ran in sand before. Lots of time. Her parents ranch had nothing but sand on it a couple of months before the horses were added and the sheep were added and the cattle and the artificial grass. Or more real grass rolled up in huge strips and then laid out. A centimeter in length, perfect for her father, and destroying her only method of actually becoming fit as it was the only thing she had done to even attempt it.

She dodged trees and dried out shrubs and ran like the Devil was on her heels. Kelly could almost imagine that being a good metaphor. Stryker and the rest of those noobs reminded her of the Devil. They'd fit quite nicely in hell, she was sure of that as well.

She didn't look back. She just knew they couldn't shoot her, gut her or cut her up. That would be stupid as she's seemingly the only one thinking further than her nose. She's seemingly the only one thinking about the archway that had been behind or next to or whatever, Wilson and Stryker and that man they had questioned so much. She also couldn't hear them. That might've been the result of hearing her heartbeat thickly in her ears.

She didn't know how long she ran, just that her muscles were protesting and that there was nothing around her as she finally sank to the hard ground. She was tired and sore and crying all over again. Or maybe she just never stopped. She couldn't close her eyes, not even to blink, because then she saw them and heard the screams. Fleeting when she blinked and long, hard, painful when she closed her eyes.

She could hear her own screams travel across the grounds and she could feel the sobs running through her body. Shaking her to the core. And she closed her eyes probably because she couldn't think of doing anything else. Probably because if she closed her eyes Stryker's idea of punishment worked. If she closed her eyes she could hear a smug little voice in her head. It sounded oddly enough a lot like Victor. She couldn't figure out why the hell she pictured him for it, but it was his voice. Him telling her that if she spoke up sooner no one would've had to die because of her. She could feel the moon over her and pain in her hands as she beat them down on the asphalt ground in front of her. She could feel her throat burning with pain as she eventually became hoarse from all the screaming and crying.

The eventual shadow that fell over her and only made it colder, didn't stop her. It was the strong arms wrapping around her and catching her hands before they could go down again. She didn't know what made her turn around and wrap her arms around his neck or even what made her bury her face into his chest. Or what made him stay. But in that moment all she really wanted was him. And it didn't matter that he was smart assed, arrogant little prick, it only mattered that he was there. And that he didn't just leave her. That he actually allowed her to cry until she was so tired she couldn't move. All that mattered was that he was holding her.

She sat outside of the archway, against the stoned wall, with her hands dangling over her knees and staring off into the distance. The sun was coming up. Streaks of pink and purple and orange and peach covered the sky and the clouds. The merging of night and day. She couldn't really think about anything the sunrise was making her think of. It was almost like it was the first time she ever saw the sun rise.

Wilson sat next to her. The blood had dried somewhere in running after her and catching up to her. He was, as was his favorite story, telling her about the day he ruined his ex-girlfriend's wedding with those things. In there somewhere he must've noticed her absence of mind and gazed out to where she was looking. "Ever seen a sunrise like that?" He asked. His tone suggested he's seen it a couple of times. She shook her head. No one could say that the sometimes barren lands of Africa wasn't beautiful. "Must be why you're staring at it. What is it with women and sunrises? It's just the sun coming up and announcing a new day."

She glanced at him. Past him she could see Stryker yelling at someone on a phone, cursing when he broke up and redialing and starting anew. Victor was scaring the soldiers who were picking up what of the meteor they could and digging the rest out of the ground. David stood like a statue overseeing business for Stryker. "Serenity." She answered.

"Serenity? Really. You find the sun rising serene? Don't tell me, it's got something to do with beauty and the good positive start of a new day." He said, his tone serious but his eyes glittering with mischief and amusement.

She sighed and shook her head. "I bet you've never even looked at a sunrise." She said carefully.

"I find women far more beautiful than the sun. But hey, that's just me." She didn't comment on that. "I mean they've got curves. What's a sunrise got? Nada. Curves and soft skin and…hey are you even listening to me?"

She shook her head slowly. "Nope. Women aren't exactly my idea of a good topic. But whatever ever floats your boat."

He laughed. "You'd rather have me interested in men?"

She grinned at him. "Sure, I think Victor has a serious thing for you." He made a gagging motion.

For a few moments it was silent. The type of silence you get right before a serious question. She was studying him. The lines of his face and everything just mainly him, but he wasn't looking at her. "You know when Bradley left." He didn't ask. He told her.

She looked away from him and watched the sky, it was now more pink and peach than before. The sun was winning the fight between Day and Night. Light and Darkness. Day's strongest warrior. How ironic really. Darkness and Night always lay just outside of reach. Waiting, counting down the time until Light and Day has to leave again. Counting down the time to when they can become the best friend of some and the worst nightmares of others.

To when they can become her nightmare.

She got up without answering him – why answer to the obvious? – and started in the direction she knew the big building was with the fenced off yard and eight kilometers from there the plane was waiting. And most likely another one because the new soldiers around didn't fall out of the air.

Stryker could find his own way back to base. She was leaving now. She had wound she wanted the doctor to take care of and she wanted to take the strongest pill that would allow her to sleep without dreams. And before that time she hoped some wild animal found him and tore him to pieces. "Exactly where the hell do you think you're running off to?" He snapped at her.

_As far away from you as possible Colonel Moron._ "To the plane, sir." She answered.

He snorted and she knew, just like Wade the year before, if she aimed her gun at him, he wouldn't even flinch, he'd probably just smirk at her sinisterly and order David to shoot her. "I don't give you permission to go." He said and returned to his phone call. He must've broken up during that time.

"Oh? Good, because I wasn't asking for it either." She muttered darkly, annoyance circling dangerously below the surface. She walked away and her the indignant spluttering behind her and the order to get her.

"I'll do it!" Wade shouted quickly as he got up and jogged after her. "I'll take her back, so she can clean those cuts on her hands." He continued. "Don't worry Victor, I'll make sure she doesn't secretly sneak into your manicure kit."

It took him a while to catch up. She walked briskly and quickly past everything. Africa was beautiful, but if she never saw it again, it would be too soon. She didn't give a damn about whether or not Wade had picked up her vest and guns, and she gave even little less of a damn about whether Stryker likes flying with a group of big soldiers. "So where'd he go?" Wade asked when they were a reasonable distance away from Stryker and the clearing and the empty village. They were past the big building already.

She glanced at him. "If I remembered correctly, I don't specifically like you much. Why would I tell you where he went?" She asked angrily.

A few hours earlier all she wanted was him. Oddly enough she still did, but she wasn't going in on that. "Ok. You won't. I get that. But…don't you think it's a little odd that on the same day Chris ups and leaves Stryker informs you oh-so-sweetly that we're going back to Africa? And the next thing you know, a lot of people die?" He asked. "I'm just saying that something of this doesn't make sense. And if Chris had to rat you out, he wouldn't have seen you break down. Like he knew you would've." He explained.

She almost laughed. Stryker. This was all part of Stryker's plan. Whatever that might be, but she wasn't falling for it. "You can stop now." She told him dangerously and wondered how far they still had to walk and if she'd make it without trying to kill him.

He frowned at her. He shouldn't frown. He looked better with a smirk or a grin on his face. "Stop what? I'm just theorizing." He said. Theorizing her ass on a silver platter.

"Bullshit. I told you before, you rank number one." She sneered and walked a little faster.

"Ok so maybe Stryker has something to do with the questioning." He said. She was almost surprised to hear Stryker's name. But he gave himself away. "But you must know something. About James, or about Chris." He continued.

She snapped and spun around. Her eyes burning with angry tears. "I don't! If I did know where James was do you think I'll be here? Of course not!" She nearly shouted. Her throat was still too sore for that. "Everyone in my life leaves! Everyone I get close to leaves! My grandfather left. He just left. One day upped and left. We never knew where he went. Four years later he's found dead, in a ditch. When they found him, he had been dead for two hours! Two hours, but he was gone for four years with no word and no reason for leaving. No reason and we never found out why!"

"But that was ok. Old people die. Life worked that way. I was eight when he died. When you're eight, you accept it as life. But two year later, my best friend Amy-Lee moves away. No, she didn't just move away, she left. For two week straight I sat alone at our lunch table, walked alone to and home from school. Why? Because I thought she was sick. That her mom just didn't want anyone to get sick like her. Then I hear, on a rumor at school, that they moved to California. So I vowed myself to make a lot of friends. I convinced my mom to move and we did. We went from Chicago to Washington. Carter had no problem with that. He hated the old school anyway."

"In Washington, I had more than enough friends. But in Washington my parents started arguing. Divorce causes scandal, so they stuck it out. I was ten-years old with no understand what they were arguing about. I was ten when suddenly my mom didn't want to spend time with us. So I started getting closer to my brother. A boy six years my senior. He never complained. He was the nice kind, you know. The type that never complains about anything. So my mom didn't want to play scrabble anymore, Carter would."

"But Cater was still six years older than me, he grew up. He went to Quantico. He started working for the FBI. And five years after he started working for the FBI, a day before my birthday, he's killed. Not just because of anything, but supposedly because he had been tracking a man of the military involved in illicit and illegal business. So we moved to Texas. A small town. I left behind my friends and promised myself to never forget my brother. To never meet anyone I'd get attach to ever again. And I did just that. Until James and Chris and _they_ left me behind." Her eyes burned as she spun around and saw the plane in the distance.

A maybe a kilometer away. She wasn't sure why she told him all that. She wasn't even sure she wanted to know why she told him all that. But she knew what was coming. She just knew it like she knew that eventually night will come again. With certainty.

"So you lost people. People die. Young and old. Sometimes people move without getting time to say goodbye, people become distant. It happens. People leave. And family members died. So what?" He asked throwing his hands into the air.

She spun around, half a kilometer to the plane now. "So what?" She hated crying this much. And she hated crying in front of Wade. She hated it. She spun around again. "There's no so what, Wade." She called back to him.

"And why is that?" He had to jog to keep up with her.

She stopped in front of the door to the plane and watched him curiously. "I told you. When I touch people I know everything about their lives." She said in answer.

"So you touched the dead body of your brother? That seems rather sick to me." He said.

She shook her head. "No." She took the small stair like thing two at a time. "I touched you." She said.

She turned back to him in the door. "You, Wade, killed my brother."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter goes out to everyone who has read my story, glanced at it and definitely reviewed, alerted and favorited. **

**Quick suggestion to all. If you can find it...read Thirteen Reason's why by Jay Asher. It's sad, but it's good.**

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They got back maybe six or seven hours after she did. The pilot grumbling about the incompetence of military personal, who don't fly planes and think all planes can carry infinite amounts of weights. Kelly sat quietly in living room on their floor. She had her feet up on a table and her bandaged hands were flipping through the pages of a book. She'd finished it a few minutes before they came in. She didn't want to talk to them, she didn't want to talk to anyone.

Wade hadn't gotten on the plane like he should've. After ten minutes she just told the pilot to take her back to base. "Ain't you supposed to stay with the men?" He had asked. She had lifted her hands to him in reply and he just nodded, he didn't seem to care much about whether or not Stryker got back.

After checking with the doctor and having fifteen small rocks taken out of the sides of her hands, she had gone to take a shower. Then she explored a little. She explored mainly in James's room. She didn't know what made her go to that room first, but she went to it. And it still smelt like him. His room was also bigger than hers and wasn't apparently connected to a timer, so she decided that she was going to take it over. The room also had a large double bed, with thicker blankets on it.

The room was luxurious for a military base. The things she had she moved over. She had found a couple of books he had left behind. Her exploring had ended then; she grabbed a book and went to living room of their floor and red to pass the time till nightfall.

She had hoped they'd get back after she had gone to bed and freak out slightly when she wasn't in her usual room. It would serve them right. She closed the book and laced her hands over it as she put it on her stomach. She had her feet on the coffee table in front of her and her head pressed in a relaxing position against the back of the sofa. She watched as her hands and the book rose and fell with each breath she took.

The memory was, at first, barely but a shadow. Over time some people forget things they remember. The body never forgets. It's engraved in the skin; it is what made them who they were. But for a person who has access to anyone's memories by just touching them, and concentrating on their breathing alone, had access to their own memories forever. It didn't matter if breathing is the easiest thing to do it is always in the subconscious of a person. And while she never concentrated on her breathing, she was doing it now. So at first the memory was barely a shadow in the back of her mind, but then she remembered it.

It had been the night in the hospital. She hated hospitals even before Carter had to go to one, even before the FBI called to tell them that Cater had been attacked in his own home and would probably not survive the night. He had already been through surgery, for what good it had done, and was laid unmoving, unconscious and so perfectly still in the bed that at first she had thought he was already dead. Her mother and father had still been talking to the doctor. He was bandaged from head to toe. Back then she hadn't been able to think of anything that could do that to a human. She had done what she always did when she couldn't sleep and when he needed to be comforted. She had curled up next to him and put her head on his chest. Her head rose and fell with each strained breath he took. And with each beat of his heart she had known, always known. Her parents were still talking when his breathing and heart stopped. She knew it before the machines did. She had known but didn't move. It hadn't taken the doctors a long time to come in and shoo her away (that's at least how it felt, it couldn't been noting but seconds in reality). Not that it matter. She had known he wouldn't wake up. Maybe it was the fact that she heard his heart stop. She didn't know. She didn't care to know. But she had known.

Kelly found it strange in that moment that her eyes weren't burning. They were strangely dry. James and Chris had lost nights of sleep because of that memory, because she would remember too late not to concentrate of her breathing before going to sleep, before she learned that if she concentrated on the breathing she could control the memories. They had lost nights of sleep and never knew why. Chris found out late, by accident, much like Wade had. "Why do you eat cookies so much?" He had asked.

She had shrugged and grinned at him. "The first time Carter and I were alone at home in a morning, it was the only thing he could find to make breakfast of." She had said. She had then remembered it so fondly.

He had laughed softly. "I bet your brother misses you." And she had snapped. She had told him everything. With him it had been worse. She had screamed and broken things and Chris had taken it all as he tried to comfort her. They had to go out and buy new things, new dishes and glasses and all that. And he never mentioned Cater after that again, except before he left. She still didn't know why his words made her snap.

She figured it had something to do with what Carter had last said to her. "I bet, if you really think about it, that when you runaway from their arguing, when you runaway like you say Amy-Lee ran away from you, then you will miss us. You will miss mom and dad. I bet you will miss me." He had said. She guessed if Chris never said he missed her, then she wouldn't have snapped. But that day Carter and smiled at her, ruffled her hair and told her he'd see her the next day. He had a date with some hot girl.

Her name had been Casey Jensen. She died at the scene, in his apartment where they had found him. She had been a single kindergarten teacher. And had been dating Carter for a while. She had been the first person she had known everything about. But that had been an accident, as nothing had happened after that before they moved to Texas. Carter, according to memories, was the best thing that had happened to her since he last abusive boyfriend. She was a kindergarten teacher with a small four-year old little girl.

But she could've bet Carter didn't know that. Carter wouldn't have known because Casey had been afraid to let any man near her daughter, especially if she didn't know if he would hit her or if it would last.

Kelly opened her eyes as the memory of Casey's little girl flickered (she had dark blonde hair, always tied in two tails, a little pink dress and pink flip-flops, because that's what she could dress herself in that fit) out of existence and the only thing behind her eyes were darkness and the incessant snapping in front of her. It was David, and on the other side of the table stood Victor and Stryker and to her right stood Wade. A sheen of worry behind his brilliant eyes.

David sighed in relief and for the first time she is surprised by that. He had never shown any signs of giving a damn about her. "The doctor said you drank some painkillers and a few other pills, I was just…"

She dropped her feet and picked the book up. "I'm fine." She said with a light shrug. "I took the painkillers for my hands and a couple of sleeping pills. Two. Nothing more. I'm going to bed. See you." She walked to her room slowly.

Kelly walked into Stryker's office with a frustrated sigh. She was twenty-one now. For four years she has worked for the bastard and he had the audacity to be on the phone when she walks in. Two years ago was the last time she really spoke to anyone on the team.

She had made sure she was busy, never really keeping in contact with them. When she got back to base, she was too tired for anything beyond a shower, a quick dinner and going to sleep. She'd be out of the base by three-thirty and off to the gym to train for an hour. Then she'd shower for an hour and be out for the day's duties, which consisted mostly of interrogating people.

Usually her assignments are simply left on her bureau, but not this time. She waited for him to finish his call and glared at him as she plopped herself down in the chair. "His name is Derrick Johnson." She glanced at the file slid across the desk to her. "I want to know where Remy LeBeau is and I want to know fast."

She nodded slowly and grabbed the file. She flipped it open outside; she didn't want to seem too reluctant in the office. The fact that LeBeau actually escaped pleased her. She had seen him when Victor had brought him in.

Victor had never done anything half. The poor guy had looked like hell. There had been a long black leather coat, a hat and a staff with a crystal knob carried in Victor's free hand. He was older than her, by a couple of years. But like all things she got attached to, he also left, ironically with her help, but not much. She failed to see why that was so bad. His escape, his leaving she didn't mind so much.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when a hand was thrown over her shoulder. Wade grinned brightly at her. She could never revert back to just calling him Wilson. Suddenly he was Wade. David stood next to her, a mini smile on his face and a curt nod of his head. "We're your supervising officers for this interrogation, Miss Armstrong." Wade told her in the most official voice he could muster.

She almost smiled but tried to keep it down. "Well, Mr. Wilson, if you would be as kind as to remove your arm from my shoulders we can start with this interrogations. You are aware of what supervising means, are you not?"

David nodded for him. "We are, but we would also like you to know that if we find anything out of order in this interrogation, we will step in." Business as always.

She turned her head to him, gazing intently at him over Wade's arm. "Are you implying that I don't know how to conduct an interrogation, Mr. North?" Her tone was icy.

He shook his head. "No."

Wade pulled her closer with his arm and lowered his head to her level. His breath was warm over the side of her face. "I know something, you do." She wondered if he knew that wasn't how the rhyme went. She squashed that thought immediately, one this was Wade Wilson. The one man whom spoke more than any woman on the planet. He is bound to know that little rhyme, and two this man for all intents and purposes could get quite violent, and dangerous. So in her own best interest she'll have to get him to tell her what he knows. "I know something you don't want me to know." He continued.

David looked over at them and studied them subtly curious. If it weren't for the constant interrogations she's been doing for two years straight, she wouldn't have even noticed it. But as of late she picked things up a little easier. She flicked Wade's arm off her shoulder and walked a little faster. "If you're so sure about that, Wade, why don't you tell me all about over dinner?" She asked, a moment later she wanted to slam her head into a wall at the suggestion. She couldn't believe she had just asked the cockiest of all men out to dinner and that in front of David North.

Maybe she was ill, something like a terminal illness according to some guy of some place or something. Maybe she needed to go see the doctor. Kelly frowned. What exactly was she supposed to tell him? 'Hey doc, I just asked Wade Wilson on a date, is there a cure for that?' Or it couldn't be a date. She'll dress casual and just out right ask him. "A date! Yes! I'll pick you up at seven, I know this great place." He said and disappeared into the room next to the interrogation room.

She sighed. "It is _not_ a date." She muttered; then glanced curiously at the door. The only thing around them for kilometres upon kilometres is trees. Unless he could fly a helicopter or something in those lines, she had no idea where he could take her.

David chuckled softly. "You shouldn't have given him that opening." He said.

She glanced at him before smiling at the door. "Maybe I wanted to give him that opening."

"Then be careful of getting hurt." He said before starting for the door.

"I feel honoured." She said with a smug tone and turned to the opposite door.

She could feel his dark eyes on her. "And why is that?" He asked.

"You care." She walked in and smiled sweetly at the man sitting in the chair. "Mr. Johnson, I'm Kelly Armstrong, Interrogations officer here at the base. Welcome." She stuck her hand out and dropped the guard around her mind, she concentrated on his chest rising and falling. She allowed his memories to filter through into her mind. She smiled when she saw Remy. _Mister Bordeaux,_ as Johnson would know him.

She let go of his hand and sat down. She placed the thin file of Derrick Johnson on top of Remy's relatively thick file. "There are people behind that window." He said, not asked.

She glanced at it and took her own dark hair and eyes in before nodding slowly. "Yes, not that I would call them people. Manner-less noobs really." She said.

He chuckled softly and seemed to relax a little. "You are young Miss…or is it Mrs?" He asked.

"I'm not spoken for, so I assume…" A knocking on the mirror's other side interrupted her. She grinned. "There is one of the manner-less noobs now. He'll be by in around…oh…three, two…one." The door opened with a bang behind her.

"Armstrong." Wade said in his most superior voice. "Outside." He said and turned around.

She left the files. She knew the man wouldn't touch them. She closed the door behind her and gazed at him smartly. "Something wrong, Mr. Wilson?" She asked

He narrowed his eyes. "You are not to lead the hostages on." He said darkly.

She smiled and nodded. "I was merely trying to get him to relax. It should be common knowledge that people talk more easily to those they trust." She turned around. "But, I'll make it clear then, as you say, that I'm not leading him on." She put her hand on the door and waited for him to enter the other room first.

She walked back in, smiling, and the files exactly like they were. "I do hope nothing is wrong." He said earnestly.

She shook her head. "No, nothing wrong. My supervisor would just like to inform me that I am not to lead any of those I interrogate on. It's Miss, though." She said in reply.

The man was clearly trying to hold laughter back as she sat down. "You are quite young, Miss Armstrong, I never thought to see a young woman in a place like this. As for your charms, I wouldn't dare fall for them. I am rather happily married." She grinned and placed Johnson's thin file aside and opened Remy's.

She pulled a photo of him out. A recent one. Or at least before he escaped. She slid it over the table to him. "I was wondering if you have seen this man." She said.

He studied the picture for a long time. "No. I've never seen him." He wouldn't have. Remy had worn a coat with a thick hood over everything else he normally wore.

She nodded and took the picture back. "I suspected that much." He studied her curiously. "Is there a possibility that you might've met him before. Travelled with a lost stranger?" She asked. She drummed her fingers lazily on the table as she watched him.

"Strangers? No, I've never picked up a stranger." He said, he sounded almost guilty. She nodded. Of course, it was a lie; he picked up a hooded stranger, Jeremy Bordeaux, as he had introduced himself, and drove him to the nearest casino. After that, he hadn't seen Remy again.

She nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know. This is just a routine question…hypothetically, if you were lying, would it come as a surprise to you that the supervising officers wouldn't be too happy?" She asked.

He stared at her a long time. "I guess not. But I swear. I'm not lying." He was pleading, yet his tone was exactly the same as before.

She nodded and got up. "It's a hypothetical. I know you aren't lying. No use in killing a man who isn't lying, it's a waste of time and makes it longer before we catch the actual bastard." She explained and grabbed her files. "A pilot will come by and take you back to where they had picked you up, shortly. Goodbye, Mr. Johnson." She walked out, closing the door behind her.

She heard David and Wade come out of the other room and jog to catch up with her. "What the hell was that?" David snapped.

She sighed and glanced at him. "What was what?" She asked.

"That. With that man. Dammit, my source told me he had seen LeBeau with that man!" David was never agitated and was rightfully not so again, he was just severely pissed of.

"Your source was wrong. I never saw LeBeau in that man's memory. He wasn't there. The man had never met him. What were you paying your source? All mistakes root back to money. Check that out and you have the answer." She snapped back.

He stopped, but she and Wade continued walking. "You do realize that if you are lying about this an innocent man will die." David called after her.

She gazed coldly at him. She was surprised to find that she didn't give a damn. That somewhere inside of her the normal reaction, the one she knew should've been there, the one that had her begging David not to kill the man; wasn't there. She shrugged. "Innocent? David, that man, your supposed source is about as innocent as Victor soaked in the blood of his recent victim. Not my problem." She said and walked away.

Wade threw his arm around her again. She was suddenly very much in the mood of getting whatever he knew over with and soon. "So what is it you know that I don't want you to know?" She asked.

He laughed. "Oh no, no, no. That's not happening. You'll have to wait for tonight. And dress nicely." He said, he dropped a kiss onto her cheek and was off. She stared at him his retreating back and frowned.

He was up to something. She smiled and wandered off in the direction of the kitchen. How bad could a date, not a date, with Wade Wilson really be, right? He was a gorgeously handsome (sexy) man. There was no denying that.

The girl sitting with her, Emily Potter, a rookie in the name and field, gazed at her curiously. They chatted whenever they saw each other. She was one of the most recent additions to Stryker's army. A doctor, who had joined the team a couple of weeks after the Africa thing, wasn't Kelly's type to communicate with. Kelly wasn't much on dressing up and so on, but that woman could barely even match a _white_ coat with what she was wearing. And Emily on the other hand, made a damn camouflaged uniform look good. The girl had curves in all the right places. Unfortunately. Kelly felt flat against the girl.

"So, how do you dress for a mystery date with Wade Wilson?" Kelly asked as she threw another pair of jeans on the bed, the one that used to be James's.

She laughed. "Not jeans and a t-shirt. I can tell you that. Go for elegant, yet sexy." She said.

"You've been on a date with him?" Kelly asked turning to the girl as another pair of jeans and four more shirts joined the pile.

"Yeah, but he said you haven't spoken to him in two years. I didn't know you guys had a thing going." She said quickly.

Kelly waved it off. They didn't. What Wade did with his time was his problem. "I haven't. And I don't have elegant or sexy in my closet." She really didn't even have a dress in her closet.

"Come on, I think I've got something." Emily led her down the hall towards the timed rooms. She shook her head. The poor girl.

"You know, Chris Bradley's room is still empty. And the shower isn't on a timer there." She said casually.

Emily glanced at her and laughed brightly. They entered the room and Kelly was surprised to find it so casually comforting. Everything was in light blues and purples. She had the room painted. There were many things that could be said about Stryker. But their personal life was just that, personal. They could do whatever they liked as long as they followed his rules to a T. She walked to an over stuffed closet and Kelly watched as she pulled the door open and had it bursting with clothes.

Clothes spilled from that closet. She pulled huge dresses, small dresses, inappropriate dresses and all kinds of dresses from it and dropped them onto the bed. She was getting even more dresses when Kelly noticed one she liked almost immediately. It wasn't really fancy, and where it would've fit Emily above the knee, she could tell it would fit a little below the knee for her.

It was a dark pink in colour. The seam of the dress had black lace added to it, for maybe about a centimetre or two. There was a thin, single black bow, not too big and definitely not stiff. The two invisible strips that were the straps, made it look like a strapless dress. She called dibs on it immediately.

She headed back to her room with a pair of black heels and a cut off jacket made up from some very soft material she didn't have a name for. It wasn't silk. Whatever it was, it made her think of a cheesecake, which was also very soft.

It was her first date with any one since she left home four years ago. And she couldn't help but feel and odd giddiness build up in her. It was two-thirty in the afternoon when she started to get ready with Emily's help. She was done at maybe two minutes before seven. The longest time she's taken to get ready for anything.

Her junior Prom she was dressed and ready to go in under an hour.

But she heard the knock on the door, and froze. This was also her first date with an adult. And he was older than her. She was sure by more than maybe ten years, she knew of the age suppressant Stryker was feeding them. So she had no clue about how old he really was, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that this was her official first date.

He knocked again and she glanced at Emily. The girl was stifling her giggles in Kelly's pillow. "Ok, go. And when you get back, I want to know everything." She gazed at Emily for a long time; three more knocks (could've been ten or eleven), and wondered what it was with her incapability to keep people at a distance. Why she always set herself up for heartache? "Go!" Emily scolded as she went to the door.

Emily didn't wait and simply opened the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to all who have reviewed and all such things. I appreciate it. Enjoy**

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Kelly clenched her hand around the bigger one in hers. She was going to murder Wade for convincing her to be blindfolded. He had said it would make it a bigger surprise. Oh she was surprised, that was the honest to God truth, she was surprised because didn't exactly expect to walk through dense vegetation with heels. He had said dress nice. Dress nice would come down to a dress and heels, right? Dress nice did not imply a date in the middle of what felt like a forest. Of course it was the only place around for kilometres.

The forest was ok compared to being blindfolded in a helicopter she didn't even know he could fly. She had no idea when he learned any of that; she just assumed there was a pilot with them, until she asked who was flying. She wasn't sure, but she was certain she looked like James on a flight.

"You can stop scowling now." He said. She felt him move from next to her, to behind her. She wanted to catch the blindfold when it was untied, but he held on tightly to it, stuffing it into the belt of his black dress pants.

Right in front of her was something she never expected. The small clearing was lit up with various small and bright little lights. She recognized four of the people standing on the far end of the clearing, dressed in white and black, waiter's outfits. They each had a white towel draped over their arms. In the middle was a round table. A black tablecloth covered it with a smaller baby blue one. A vase with four red roses and four candles were the centrepiece of the table.

She couldn't help but be surprised.

A slow smile spread across her face as he led her to the table. He pulled out the chair. Silent all the way. He waited until she was comfortably seated and went to sit down himself. He grinned at her over the table, slouching down slightly, the soldier/waiters stood perfectly still. She studied them for a few moments. "So, how'd you convince them to do this?"

He grinned. "You women aren't the only ones with your secrets." He said, she couldn't help but smile.

"You really didn't need to do all of this." She said.

He shrugged. "But I wanted to." It was a rather deceptively simple answer. She couldn't figure why deceptive came to mind. Was it because nothing in life was simple, or because she knew that he knew something she wouldn't want him to know? She couldn't really pinpoint it.

But the fact that she was having dinner with the man who killed her brother, did come to mind. And oddly enough…she couldn't see something wrong with that. The forgive and forget story wouldn't work, she didn't think it was possible to forgive or forget anyone who killed someone you knew, who you loved with all your heart. But Wade made it hard to not forgive him. Maybe it was his stunned reaction after she got on the plane or the fact that after that night, he had tried his hardest to make it up to her. And she had done everything in her power to ignore him. Maybe that was why she was forgiving him.

She was silent for a while. Just watching him as he watched her. She could tell the soldiers were waiting for them to do something. They would shift and then one would sigh or so. "I'm sorry." She stared at him. He had said it right as she was about to open her mouth and speak. Talk about anything she could possibly think about.

She smiled. "About this? Come on, Wade. This is great. I love it."

He shook his head and looked up at the sky, just staring at the stars as if they'd give him an answer. "About your brother. Maybe if I knew back then that I'd meet you. Or knew that I'd actually get a chance to talk to you. Maybe if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have done it." He said.

She stared at him, she could feel her eyes burning, but she shook her head. "No." He said softly.

He looked at her then. "No?" He asked.

She smiled and looked off into the distance, just behind him into the dark trees beyond. "No. You would've still done it. You were already working for Stryker then. I don't know whom Carter was investigating. I don't really care. For the sake of the matter, if you didn't do it, he was going to send someone else. Carter would still have died. It…it was just harder to realize it was you." She knew it didn't really make sense. It didn't make sense to her.

"Harder to…? Kelly, you hated me since you started with us. I always thought it was because of the water. Because I threw you with water. But when you told me Africa it was all making sense." He said. His tone didn't change much and she knew this wasn't the only thing he wanted to talk about, but strangely she realized that he needed to say it.

She shook her head. "Maybe. But you told me to stop taking the painkillers. Maybe I didn't stop right away, my head was killing me, but I did stop. You told me soldiers were born not made. You proved to me that I couldn't just kill someone. That I couldn't do what Stryker would want me to do. That I couldn't even shoot a tree. You sat with me when the only thing I did was cry. You made it hard to hate you forever."

He was quiet for a very long time. She still couldn't really picture him as the quiet type, in any sort of situation. Whether he was speaking to soldiers of victims or whatever else there was, he was always talking. Never apologizing, but always talking. "Sometimes you have to get over things that just doesn't seem like you can. I can't say 'ok you murdered my brother, so what?' but I can at least try to forgive you."

He nodded slowly. "Are you forgiving me?"

She smiled softly. "Do you want me to forgive you?"

He grinned. "Of course."

She didn't say anything else on it. As far as she was concerned, it was over with. He wanted her to forgive him. Whatever his reasons, it didn't matter, because she's been trying to forgive him for a long time. And that's all that mattered. All that mattered was that he was trying to apologize.

And that's how dinner started. For most of it they talked about everything. She told him stories about her whole family, everyone but Carter. If he noticed, he didn't look like he was too hurt or confused about it. He probably understood why she didn't want to talk about Carter.

He told her stories of everything he's done since the last time she saw his life. Stories about the prisoners kept on that nuclear plant island. Three-mile Island. Mostly he talked about the powers those mutants had. She knew that many of them were young, and it was rather clear to understand that he didn't feel that guilty about it, but she didn't think about that too long.

By the time it was one in the morning, they were still in that clearing, still talking about random things. Wade had pulled a picnic blanket from somewhere and spread it out on the grass. The soldiers he had used as waiters had left maybe an hour or two ago. She was wearing his jacket now; it left about two hands length of the dress.

As they had lay there, she had pointed out each star she knew. And then the moon was gone. He was looking down over her. He had both hands pressed against the ground next to her head on either side and was leaning over her. On all fours. She studied him. "You helped LeBeau get away."

He pressed her down by her shoulders when she tried to get up. So after about five minutes of struggling against him, she just lay there and stared at him. Was it really too much to ask for this not to happen? For him not to ruin a good night? He was waiting, studying her, expectantly. He wasn't going to say anything until she agrees with him. "Yes." She finally says and turns her head away.

He makes her look back. "There. That's what I know. But I figured something else out today. That man, he had met LeBeau."

She smirked at him. Whatever he wanted, he wasn't going to get it. And she was going to murder him in his sleep for ruining a good evening. She had forgotten that he knew something. If he just shut up about it, she wouldn't have felt like she needed to crush him right now. "No. He hadn't met LeBeau, ever." She snapped and pushed her hands against his chest. "He's never met anyone known as Remy LeBeau. You can get up now." She snapped and pushed a little harder.

"He has and you know it, probably not as LeBeau himself, but he's met him." He continued, apparently not even really concerned about her shoving.

"Oh would you come of…" Her eyes widened as his mouth pressed against hers and she still completely. The rest of her sentence flew out of the window along with her good conscience telling her she was in a rather bad position. After all, hadn't he said before that he liked a woman under him?

The base was busy when they got back. The ant in an anthill kind of busy. Everyone was scrambling to do something. So far she couldn't find that too much of a bad thing. If the bunch of soldiers didn't notice her and Wade sneaking back after being out all night, then cool. Then she was happy. That was the reason she was now, again, wearing Wade's jacket and had taken off her shoes. The heels would've announced their presence far too loudly.

She grinned up at him, feeling exceptionally short against him, and pulled him down by the front of his shirt. She couldn't believe she was this happy with the guy. Really. And she was going to kill him later. She hadn't exactly thought the first time she slept with someone would be in the middle of a clearing. "You owe me a repeat of last night." She told him.

He grinned and kissed her again. She really couldn't get enough of kissing him. He half lifted her off her feet as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Hey!" She opened her eyes and looked sideways. Wade was just ignoring whoever it was. Emily glared at them and Kelly slowly and reluctantly pulled away from Wade. She smiled nervously at the girl. "Where the hell have you been?" She snapped and grabbed Kelly's arm.

She waved to Wade as she was dragged to her room and shoved inside. "Are you alright?" She asked as she dropped the shoes onto her bed and started towards the bathroom.

Emily glared at her. "No, I am not alright!" She snapped. Kelly slowly turned away from where she was turning the taps in the shower. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't snap at you."

"What's going on, Emily?" She asked carefully. Something in the girl's attitude told her she didn't want to know. She didn't want her good night with Wade ruined by something happening at base.

She sighed and dropped onto the bed, out of Kelly's view. "Stryker's moving us all to Three-mile Island." She said after a small pause.

Kelly froze. She knew that Three-mile Island was the holding place for the mutants Wade and the others had to go and get. She's only been to the island a couple of times. The last being to help Remy escape. And all she really did then was distract the guards by yelling at them. She didn't exactly think living beneath a nuclear plant was the best idea Stryker's ever had. "And that's bad, why?" She asked. The plant wasn't really that bad.

"My ex works there as a doctor." She said huffily.

Kelly stuck her head around the door and grinned. "And that's it. That's why you're in such a bad mood?"

The girl threw a pillow her way. She left the door open and quickly got out of the dress and into the shower. "So are you and Wade a thing now?" She asked. Kelly stilled under the water for a moment.

She wasn't sure. At least not about what it meant to Wade. "I don't know." She answered.

Something thudded. "You don't know? How can you not know?" Emily asked. Kelly studied the glass door of the shower.

She sighed and worked the shampoo into her hair. "I just don't. It's not like we actually talked about it."

She heard Emily bubble with laughter and smiled. So maybe she needed to talk to Wade about that. But if the girl could laugh like that, how bad could it be right? "Well I think you're something." Emily informed her. Probably not as politely as she had hoped, but close to it.

"Really, and why is that?" She asked, she knew she should probably have been paying better attention to Emily, but really. Blame it on Wade if that makes anything better. It's his fault he is suddenly the only thing she can think about.

She stilled after a moment. She watched as Emily moved around behind the steamed up glass. "Because, no matter what anyone thinks of him, Wade Wilson doesn't just sleep with anyone."

Kelly dropped the soap she was playing with and stuck her head out of the glass door and glared at the girl. "Who says I slept with Wade?" She asked.

The other grinned. "You're late, you seem like you glow, miss prim and proper is in a disarray and you haven't stopped smiling – I know this, I'm very good at knowing this – since I dragged you away from him."

Kelly pulled her head back into the shower and closed the door. She did sleep with Wade. And because of that she assumed they'd be something. Emily knew Wade. If she said that he didn't sleep with just anyone, then she figured he didn't. She smiled. So maybe they were something.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when the bedroom door banged open. She heard Emily become quiet. The girl must've been going through the mirror case's things. It was pointless to shut the water off now. Whoever was in the room probably knew it was running. They'd be daft not to know daft and deaf. She ignored it and continued finishing her shower. She ran some more product through her hair and rinsed it off. She turned the shower off and got a two towels, the one she wrapped around her body and the other she wrapped around her head.

"What are you doing?" Emily hissed when she walked to the bathroom door, which was now shut. "That's not Wade!"

Kelly waved her off. "I know." She said simply and walked out. A soldier, younger than her and Emily, probably around eighteen or nineteen, didn't really matter which, was opening her closet and starting to pack things in boxes. "Excuse me." He turned to her and immediately spun around, turning his back to her. "Exactly what are you doing?" She asked while grabbing a black shirt, the camouflaged jacket and pants and her black boots and underwear. The same uniform she's been wearing for the last four years.

He cleared his throat. "I'm packing your room, ma'am. Colonel Stryker ordered me to have it done by the end of the morning. We're moving out to Three-mile Island."

She nodded to his back. "I know that. And I know that Stryker scares people, but can you wait outside?" He nodded and quickly marched out of the room.

Emily came back as she was pulling on her pants. She had the decency to at least wait until Kelly had dressed in her underwear. The blond gazed intently at the door and then glanced at Kelly. "How do you do that?"

Kelly pulled the shirt over her head and tucked into in the pants. She hated doing that, she felt like she was restricting her movement, but if Stryker (who seems to have a radar for things like that) ever noticed it not being tucked in; he'll have a field day and fire her. "Do what?" She asked as she pulled the jacket on and stuffed her socked feet into the boots.

Emily shook her head. "If it was me, I'd have yelled at him. Seriously yelled at him. But you stand there, ask him what he's doing and smile politely while asking him, just as politely, to leave." She explained.

She shrugged. "I just learned you can't solve things with violence. Yelling just makes people shut down and dislike you." She said while tying the laces of her boots.

Emily snorted. "For someone who doesn't want people to pay attention to her or even know she exist, you are awfully nice."

Kelly stopped what she's doing. "Who says I don't want people to know I exist?" She asked.

Emily smiled. "You. It's rather easy to see that you don't mind people, but your afraid of getting close to them. I'm a little surprised you even allowed Wade to get as far as he did." She said after a moment.

Kelly stared at her. She had never expected someone to figure it out. At least not someone who didn't know the whole story. "What if I just figured I need to trust people?" She asked.

This time the blonde did laugh. "You already trust people. You just don't trust them not to do something you'll regret." She said and started for the door.

Kelly sat on the bed for a while and thought about it. It was only when the soldier came back to ask if he could pack now that she remembered he still had a job to do. She smiled at him and nodded, told him that if he needed help he just had to ask and she'll come back.

She went to the kitchen and got herself a coffee before going to stand outside and watch as soldiers packed planes. She wasn't sure if she wanted to leave. She'd forever have the memory of her first date with Wade in the forests around her.

She smiled.

Maybe forgiving him wasn't going to be as hard as she first thought.


	6. Chapter 6

**Finally got the story moving! Enjoy!**

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She was furious. She was more than furious. She was murderous. Not that she'd actually do that, but it came down to the same conclusion. Emily was walking with her. There was a better phrasing for that. Emily was trying to walk with her.

She could feel the still barely warm blood cool against her hands. She could still see the last memories of the man before her eyes. And she clenched her hands tighter and harder and walked faster, because she was tired of this.

Emily was trying to say something. Calm her down or something, she wasn't sure, but right now she was on a determined path to find the bastard. The irony in this whole situation was the fact that: the man now dead, in the interrogation room, was killed by someone that was on her newly acquired team.

A month after they moved to Three-mile Island Stryker promoted her to Captain. He gave her a full squad of soldiers to do with whatever she wanted. Seeing as she rarely went on missions, she allowed most of them to sit in through interrogation. The good cop, bad cop thing. She, however, should've known that her sudden promotion was because Stryker wanted something. All of them, each and every one of the men on her team were trained in combat. She was sent on missions. She was supposed to command a team of men, who had little to no respect for her, but a few of them, and make sure that those Stryker wants, gets back alive.

She did that. Mostly they followed her orders, she had a good thought that Wade had something to do with that. But she didn't complain. Up until now, all her suspects (if that is what one can call those who have done nothing but be mutants) had come back alive.

Until now, where she was stalking down the halls to the only place the bastard could be, with blood soaked on her hands and about two centimetres up her camouflaged jacket.

It had been a simple order. Really. There wasn't anything hard about it. Just stay with the man, until I'm done with seeing what Stryker wanted. That was the order. Just sit there, don't talk to him; just sit. The moron has a temper problem. A serious temper problem. The man wasn't talking to him, just like she had told him not to do, but apparently he couldn't just sit and be quiet like any other person would've been. No he started talking, and the man ignored him, like he had been told to do and the soldier lost his temper. He shot the man twenty-two times. Twenty-flipping-two times. He was barely alive when she got there. And no one checked it out, because just down the hall, there's a shooting range and someone is always shooting in there.

She didn't know what he had said. Maybe because her anger elevated to quickly that she couldn't listen to the words running through her head.

She was marching down the base's offices. Emily had said she'd meet her there after her interrogations and had been poking her head out when Kelly stalked past. From there on she's been following, trying to find out what had been going on. Kelly just ignored her.

"Sweets! I have this…" She gazed at Wade, who had suddenly appeared in her path, as he fell silent his gaze drifting to her hands. "What happened?" He asked.

She sidestepped him and continued walking. She didn't listen to him asking Emily what was going on. They'd find out soon enough. She simply continued walking; stalking more like it, and eventually came to the cafeteria (no more private kitchens, which was sad). She was going to ruin the appetites of a few people, but as of yet she failed to care much about that.

He stood near the veggie island as she and Emily had started calling it. Dead centre of the massive room was the island counter filled with all sorts of vegetables. From cooked to salads, but everything was vegetables.

She was pleased to see that he stood only in his camouflaged pants, boots and white muscle shirt. He was talking to one of the other soldiers, another one from her team. He had the day off, she liked him actually, he didn't disrespect her at all. It was the kid who packed her room. The poor boy had to listen to the Bastard. Bryce. That's his name. Bryce was talking to Jerry. Jerry the kid as he was known. Right now, she hated Bryce.

She never ate in the cafeteria. Wade would get a helicopter and take her and Emily out. Always, breakfast, lunch and dinner. This was the first time she even set foot in the place other than to call her team together for another mission. It was only Bryce who didn't notice her presence until it was too late. She stood right behind her, smiled sweetly and innocently at Jerry and slammed Bryce's face into the counter. The pans and bowls holding vegetables jumped slightly from the force she did it with. His curse following a satisfying crunch just made her happy.

Her hand was at the back of his neck. Her six months of torturous training had taught her how to handle men. She didn't exactly build up muscle, because she didn't want it, but she knew how to force anyone bigger than her to the ground.

She kicked the back of his knees and forced him down. He stood like that, face now turned onto his cheek, blood rushing from his nose and on his knees. She didn't even waste her time trying to learn who and what he is. She just took his image and replaced it with the man he had shot and shoved it into his head. She grinned at Jerry while the horrible images went through her head, projecting onto Bryce. "Hey, how ya doing, Jer?" She asked brightly.

He glanced at the soldier below her and then at her. "Great, ma'am." He muttered.

She nodded and lifted her hand after the images was done. "Good, are you enjoying your day off?" She asked as Bryce scrambled away. His hands running over his chest, tears streaking down his face and whimpers leaving his mouth.

Jerry glanced at him again. "Yes, ma'am. I am. Thank you." He said politely. He was always polite.

She nodded again and walked to Bryce. She crouched over him and pulled him by the front of his muscle shirt up, so she could put her head at the side of his head. "The next time you disobey me. I won't only break your nose and give you a couple of bad images. I will put you in a cage and tell Victor Creed to play with you, understood, soldier?" She asked coldly.

He nodded vigorously. He had better hoped none of his blood came near he jacket. "Y-y-yes ma'am!" He agreed quickly.

She shoved him back and got up. "I want you Stryker's office in the next five minutes. We will discuss further punishment there." She ordered and walked out.

Emily stood in the door, her eyes wide and shock practically radiating off her body. Wade just stood grinning, like he was the proudest man on the planet. She didn't even want to know what he was proud about. She stalked past them into the bathroom, cleaned up her hands and pulled her jacket off. She then walked to the morgue in the place and told them to find someone to clean up the mess in interrogation room six.

Wade and Emily followed her like lost puppies. She was clearly unhappy, she figured the only reason both of them were silent was because they thought she'd talk when she was ready.

When she finally got to Stryker's office, Bryce had gotten his nose cleaned up and bandaged. What use a single strip of white bandage was, she could still not figure out. But he was already there and knocking. She stood behind him, silent and still severely pissed off. She half hoped he would try to run. She'd kick him in the balls if he tried. "What?" Stryker snapped from the other side.

Bryce hesitated. She prodded him in the back with her finger. "Move." She hissed. He sighed almost dejectedly and walked in. Stryker was on the phone, so they stood a few meters apart and from the chairs. Wade and Emily stood at the door, pretending to be invisible.

The phone slammed down and Stryker gazed at them. "I hope there is a good reason for this. I was just on the phone with the General and he is still reluctant to agree to this plan." She didn't know what plan it was. And neither did she specifically care. What she did care about was that this plan was taking her time with Wade away.

"Tell him." She ordered Bryce.

Bryce took a deep breath and started out simple. "I shot someone." Too simple for her liking.

"No, tell him the whole story." She said, crossing her arms and tapping her foot against the rug.

He sighed and glared at her. "I killed the guy we were supposed to bring back in the interrogation room." He said.

Stryker narrowed his eyes. "Why?" He asked lowly.

Bryce was silent for about five minutes. "Because he was following Captain Armstrong's orders." He explained.

She glanced at him. She hadn't exactly expected that as the answer. In actuality she was a little shocked to find that as the answer. "Wilson, take care of him." Stryker ordered and waved them away. "Oh and Potter, you're being reassigned to Armstrong's team."

They snapped into a salute and she walked out. She hadn't exactly expected Stryker to order the man to execution. She stood in the hall for a moment and nearly jumped when Emily touched her arm. Wade was already leading the man in the opposite direction. He looked pained. She didn't stop Wade. "Come on." Emily said leading her down the halls, lower into the base. Above them was Stryker's little project. How he funded all of it was a question he evaded well. He wants to create something called Weapon X, out of someone. She didn't specifically want to know who that someone was going to be.

She dropped down onto the bed; in the room she shared with Wade. Emily sat next to her, wringing her hands like she knew something she didn't want to know. She'd been working with the doctors ever since they came back. "I need to tell you something." She finally said.

"I'm not pregnant." Kelly said immediately.

The topic had come up about a month ago when her period had been late. Which had been just that, it had been late.

"Not about that." Emily said softly. She was wringing her hands harder now. "Kelly, you love Wade, right?" She asked.

Kelly studied her for a moment. "Yes." She said carefully.

She nodded. "And he'd tell you when something isn't right, right?" She asked.

"I'd hope so." Kelly answered quietly.

Emily nodded. She sat quietly for a few moments. It was as if she wanted to desperately say what she wanted, but couldn't find the words. It was as if whatever words she did find, just probably didn't sound right.

It was as if she didn't want to be too blunt or too subtle. As if she wanted to say the exact right thing but didn't know how.

There were a lot of scenarios running through Kelly's head. The most constant of those scenarios being that she was pregnant. That since last months discussion there had happened something and she got pregnant, of course the 'what happening' shouldn't be too hard to figure out.

She knew one thing for sure. If she was pregnant she wasn't staying in this base. She was sure as hell not even going to tell Stryker if she left. And she'd make Wade go with her.

But that was another thing. They were definitely not ready for kids. They just got into this relationship six months ago. A child would only put strain on a good thing. But she still wouldn't get an abortion. It wasn't even up for discussion. Stryker could shove it up his ass. It was illegal anyway.

Kelly smiled. A kid wouldn't be that bad. When they'd leave they'd get the whole white picket fence thing. A four-bedroom house somewhere near a forest. A dog, a Labrador or a Golden Retriever, she heard those were good with kids. She'd teach the child manners and things like that. And Wade can teach the kid…something like self-defence or something.

How would Wade be with kids? She couldn't really imagine him as the fatherly type. He'd probably be their best friend more than their father. Or she could be wrong. He could be the best father on the planet. Wouldn't that be ironic?

She gazed at the wall. If it were a boy, she'd call him Carter. Or on second thought, not Carter. That would probably just be a slap in Wade's face. Casey. Casey sounded good. It wasn't Carter, and Wade would never know the girl's name had been Casey. And Casey is a unisex name, so Casey can be a boy. Collin. Collin sounded like the best option. As far as she could remember there hasn't been a Collin in Wade's history. Yeah, she'd call him Collin if she has a boy.

A girl? A girl can be Tanya. Or maybe she could name her Kay. Kay's a nice name, not something every other girl is called. Yeah, Kay, if it's a girl.

She hopes it is a girl. She could deal with a girl. She doubted a girl would want to be like her dad one day. A boy on the other hand. Now that's just looking for trouble. A boy would look like Wade. Definitely be a charmer. Melt the hearts of many girls. She was sure of it, but she'd still like a girl.

Maybe Emily could be the godmother. Emily was nice enough and caring enough. If anything were to happen to her and Wade she'd take care of the kids. She wouldn't mind. When last month's topic came into discussion she had been rather excited, she liked kids.

Who would be the perfect godfather? Maybe if she could find James or Chris she'd ask them. But she had no idea where they were. They just vanished off the face of the planet. Or maybe it would be her own fault, maybe she just didn't look hard enough to find them. But she will. And she'd ask James. Nothing against Chris. James was just there for a longer time than Chris. He was there from the beginning. So James would be the perfect candidate.

He's a little serious but he'd be able to take care of a kid. He'd really take care of them, protect them against all the bad things in life. But still allow space for them to grow up.

So, it will be Collin for a boy. It will be Kay for a girl. They'll have a white picket fence in front of a cream coloured house with dark green grass and roses. They'd have a climbing frame for when the kid grows up. They'd ask Emily to be the godmother and James to be the godfather. But first they'd need to look for James. Shouldn't be too hard. He'd probably go live somewhere in Canada, which is all good and well. She didn't really mind, made it less harder to look for him.

They'd be happy. There wouldn't be a Stryker to order them around. There won't be any more trouble. They could just be them. And live happily ever after. Like in fairytales. People liked fairytales. She loved them. Everything was always good.

She'd be able to read the kid millions of fairytales. All kinds of fairytales, not just the usual. And fables and such. Their lives will be perfect.

Kelly grinned to herself and looked at Emily. Emily was gazing at the opposite wall intently, still wringing her hands and looking scared. Kelly's grin faltered, but she kept the thought of them standing in front of a white picket fence with a laughing baby in her head to make it seem less bad.

She was sure that once the idea stuck it wouldn't be that bad. When it was a false alarm they could talk freely about it. But when it's real it becomes harder because of the situations she and Wade are in. But they can get out of it. Stryker can't keep them here if they didn't want to be and she won't let him force her into anything that might harm her baby.

She'd fight hand and teeth if he tried. They say there's nothing a woman wouldn't do for her family. She'd fight for them even if it killed her. Stryker could just go to hell.

She frowned. In all reality she wasn't sure what Stryker would do if she did tell him she was pregnant. He had said something about the mutant gene being passed through by something in the male blood. But she wasn't exactly sure. She had a feeling that he'd monitor her like a damn hawk if she did tell him she was pregnant. The best option would probably be not to even tell him. To just disappear of her own little heaven.

She liked that idea. She'd take Emily with them. She wouldn't leave her behind. It wasn't right to leave someone behind (and it isn't because she's left behind, but because half the men in this place are pig. That she is sure of).

She smiled again. She wasn't going to tell him. They all would just disappear without a word and live out happy lives.

Emily turned to her. Her eyes were swimming in tears. Kelly's smile faltered completely. Whatever it was the girl wanted to say it had nothing to do with kids. It couldn't have anything to do with kids. Not if she looked like that.

"Kelly, Wade's dying."


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm going to dedicate this chapter to all of you guys who have reviewed and to LoveAroundEmbers for her advise. I hope I fixed the tenses thing!**

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Dying?

No. Emily was wrong. Wade wasn't dying. She was mistaken. She had to be. Wade wasn't dying. No. He wasn't. He would've told her if he was. He'd have said something.

She smiled patiently and shook her head. "No. You are wrong. He's not dying. No. He isn't." She said. She was certain of it. Wade wouldn't leave her. He knew how she felt about that. He knew that leaving scared her. He wouldn't just die like that on her.

Emily shook her head as well. "I saw his records, Kelly. He's dying. He has cancer. He's in chemotherapy, but he doesn't take it regularly like he should. The doctors are complaining." She whispered softly.

Kelly glared at her. "He's not dying, Emily." She snapped. Emily was bringing up things that were irrelevant. She was supposed to tell her she was pregnant. Not that Wade was going to die. Which he was not! He wasn't sick!

Emily gazed at her for a moment and nodded slowly. She got up and walked to the door of the bedroom, Kelly knew she'd be leaving the apartment like room soon, but did nothing to stop her. "I'm sorry, Kelly." She said softly.

She lay on the bed for a full hour. Her thoughts circled Emily's words. Dissecting them and coming up with nothing but the fact that no matter how hard she fought it: Emily wouldn't have made a sick joke like that.

She quickly got off the bed and walked to Stryker's office. A new camouflaged jacket covering her shoulders. She knocked and pushed the door open without allowance to enter. He glowered at her for a full five minutes before allowing her to sit down. She kept standing. "Do you have any missions to go on?" She asked quietly.

Stryker studied her quietly for a long time and nodded. He held out a folder to her. He usually had their missions stacked on piles. Ranged by their ranks and how well qualified they were for it. He just grabbed a folder off a stack and handed it to her. She didn't care. She needed to get away. It was another mutant retrieval. "Thank you, sir." She walked out. He hadn't said a word to her.

She walked right by Wade, waving the missions as an answer to his questioning look. She made the announcer call her team to gear up and meet outside at the airbase. She was there a full half hour before them. She had read through the file. The guy they were supposed to get was somewhere in Washington DC, in something of an underground club. There were supposedly six or seven of them around. They had to hit each and every one of them and find the man.

According to the file he owned something that allegedly gave him power like Fred Dukes (she doubted that, he was probably a mutant, just didn't want to say it out loud). Immense strength or something, just what she needed to get her mind off anything she'd been thinking about. She could handle something that had a certain outcome. An outcome she could control. This man either came in or died on her order. That was an outcome. That was how things were supposed to be.

Wade dying wasn't in her control. Wade dying she…

She wasn't going to think about that. She needed to concentrate on her mission and she needed all her wit about her for it. She didn't need things about uncertainty clouding her mind.

They boarded the plane in silence. For the first time in a long time she had her headphones back on and was blasting music loudly. For the first time in a long time her head felt like it was going to burst. There was safety in familiarity.

The hours didn't feel all that long. It actually felt very short. Unnaturally short. She didn't want to have to finish this so soon and then get back to Wade. She, surprisingly, didn't want to see Wade right now.

They got out and she avoided Emily by getting into a different car than the girl. There was only so much a military issued black vehicle could take. Jerry was driving the one she had taken; he would glance at her and then look back at the road.

The first six clubs didn't have anyone resembling the guy nor had anyone seen anyone resembling the guy. The last club, as they had learned the hard way, was a place for gangsters and who and what have you hanging out. And their current situation was all the fault of that.

They were all hidden behind pillars. Guns out and crouched low to the ground. Behind them, on the other side stood men, who they could see in the mirrored wall opposite them. Unlike the group of men, they hadn't fired one bullet. Not one single bullet. They didn't get the chance. The men would shoot just if they tried to make themselves more comfortably in an already uncomfortable position.

Kelly found herself praying. Praying hard in a very long time. She couldn't think with the headache and two of her squad members were already dead. "Jerry!" She shouted, suddenly remembering the kid's obsession with explosives. "I want you to throw those things you took!" She yelled at him.

She didn't look at him. If he threw that grenade he was going to blow up a lot of things, but at least they'd get out alive, hopefully. She heard the clink of the metal ball falling, the shouts of the men and the explosion washing hot air over them followed by dust. There was a crack somewhere. "We need to leave; the place is going to collapse." Someone on the team shouted.

"Go, I'll follow." She ordered as she got up from the crouch. Her body was oddly stiff. She blamed it on the position she had been sitting in for hours.

"Kelly…"

"Go, Emily." She ordered again. Jerry glanced at her in confusion and then dragged Emily away. She figured the thing this morning had them a little wary of her temper. Carter used to say it's the silent ones you have to be worried about.

She shook thoughts of her brother out of her head and slowly walked around the wreckage. The place had collapsed in. It had been built under an old ruined building. She could look straight into the lobby from where she stood. She still needed to find the ring.

She stood gazing up at the lobby and couldn't help but shiver at the cold emptiness of it. The dark hadn't been scary for almost six months now, but the building scared her. Wade dying scared her. Wade being ill scared her. She couldn't really picture anything without him anymore. He was as much part of her life as anything else now. The dark emptiness of the building made her think of the possibilities. The reality that he could be gone and never come back.

That she wouldn't get her picketed fenced life with him.

She was wrenched from her thoughts by a swift punch to the gut. She crashed into the wall behind her and slid down with a whimper (the standing wall surprised her slightly, but pain has a tendency to not really make one care). She had never been trained for combat. She was just trained to do interrogations. She pressed her hand into the ground before she fell forward and felt it shake under her.

He didn't give her much of a chance to retaliate to anything he might throw at her. He lifted her by the front of her jacket and threw her clear across the room. He was wearing the ring, and she was certain now that it had nothing to do with the ring for real. Pain crashed into her as she hit the rubble at an angle, her side stung. Pain seared across her abdomen. The burning sort of pain of something stabbing into her. She looked down and closed her eyes against the tears burning them.

She figured out what felt like something was stabbing into her. A rusted thin metal pole stuck about two centimetres deep into her stomach. She was sure it wasn't deep enough to do any real damage, but it burned like hell. She tugged it out of her stomach and hissed in pain. She slowly stood up again. It felt like the cut was tearing deeper. "You walked through that door expectin' me to come with no retaliation? Don' make me laugh!" He sneered and stalked across the room.

She clenched her hand around the thin metal pole. It was long, but not really that long in length. Long enough to hit someone over the head hard with, though, with a good grip of course.

She laughed at his words. Tears burning her eyes along with the still unsettled dust. "Actually, I didn't plan on finding you tonight. I planned on being away from work for a while." She answered.

Why the hell did Wade have to get sick now? Why does he have to be dying now?

He was a few steps from her. Maybe it was her backing up, but just didn't seem to be getting closer. For a wound that wasn't supposed to be that deep, it felt like the thing was tearing up, she could feel the blood slide into the top of her pants. The idea of just pulling the guns from its holsters at her sides or hips just didn't come up.

She held the thin pole like a baseball bat. She clutched it tightly and held it a little behind her. He chuckled. He probably knew she was in pain. And he probably knew she hadn't played on game of baseball in all her life, but there is supposedly a first time for everything. "You ain't going to live through this, little girl."

She was frozen for a moment. Not sure if she heard him right. Did he just call her little girl? As if she didn't already feel small against half the human population, he has to go and call her little.

She stopped backing up and waited for him to come closer, and he did. It was like he really didn't expect her to hit him with the damn pole. When he was close enough, she slammed the pole into the side of his face. The worst that happened, it bent. "Shit." She whispered and stumbled towards the door over the rubble.

She was maybe six or seven steps from the door before it collapsed in after something like an earthquake travelled through the door. She coughed on the dust and cursed. "Ya'd think ya have brains. Bad things happen in threes. First I hit you, then you have dat pole stuck in ya and now this. This where it ends, ya know." He didn't have an American accent. She wasn't sure why this occurred to her now.

She turned around slowly, deciding to ignore his jibe and just wait. There wasn't anyway out. She didn't know how else to bring this guy to his knees. And she had a good feeling that nothing but his own memories would haunt him. "Captain!" She heard someone shout on the other end. Emily, she was sure about it.

She looked around and sighed. No more weapons she could pick up either. She shifted into as much of a fighting position as she could and waited. When this man ran, it sounded like he moved everything. It even looked like he made the rubble hop. She was unprepared for the hand around her neck, she hadn't exactly thought he'd grab and not punch. She automatically lifted her hands and tugged at his arm. She planted her legs against his chest and pushed, or at least tried to push him off.

She couldn't concentrate with the sudden lack of energy. Somewhere outside a helicopter was in the air. She could hear pounding steps on the wooden floor, which had not caved in, above her.

The shot rang in her ears. The hand around her neck went limp. And everything else stilled. She dropped to the ground and realized a moment later she was the one with the gun. She sat on the large piece of ceiling, staring intently at the gun in her hands and wondered when she'd taken it out. And how she failed to realize this is what she had been doing. "Captain!" It was Jerry now. A thick black rope fell into the room and he slid down it.

"Get a doctor!" She yelled and scrambled over to the man. He wasn't going to die because of her. No.

Wade wasn't going to die either. She won't let him die. She'll just get Victor to help her. The thought of Victor helping people was repulsive. A nearly unimaginable thing.

It took five of them five minutes to get the man on a stretcher. And the other four had a hell of a time trying to lift the man out of the hole. It took them another five minutes to get him into one of the cars and then driving as if hell itself was chasing them to the landing strip. She was also still bleeding. To her it didn't matter much. It took them and the two pilots to get the bastard on the plane. Mostly because they didn't want to worsen the wound.

It was early morning when they got back to the base. Emily had kept the man from moving too much during the flight. The moment they landed Kelly was out of the plane, shouting orders. She ran, while regretting it, straight to the medical centre. She was glad that no one but a few doctors was there. "A man has been shot, he's still at the airstrip, you need to go and get him here." She ordered quickly.

She waited until all of them were gone before she started looking through the things on their desks. She needed to know, see, for herself. She was half way through the second doctor's desk. "What are you doing?" When she jumped nearly a mile and scattered files all over the floor. Victor stood in his usual apparel gazing at her as if she was the bane on his existence.

She has literally never spoken to him in four years. Never. Mostly because he scared the shit out of her. "I'm…looking for a file…about how to clean wounds. I got hurt on the mission and it was a rusted old pole and I've been moving a lot." She hoped it was a convincing lie.

He didn't seem to think so. "Those aren't on the doctor's desks. I'm sure you know that."

She shook her head. "I don't exactly spend a lot of time in here." She really needed him to leave. She crouched and started to pick the files up. Wade's was among them. She stilled for a moment. She stared at the file like it was a lifeline.

Victor dropped something onto the desk and broke her thoughts. She studied the metal case then glance at him. "Stuff you'll need." He replied gruffly. There was something abnormal about him helping her.

She stuffed the files together and watched him walk out. She stuffed Wade's file into her jacket, grabbed the metal case and walked to their room. She'd report to Stryker in the morning.

The room was empty when she got there. She sat in the bathroom, reading the file and fixing her wound. She'd have to get a doctor to check it out anyway. Everything Emily had said was true. And no matter how hard she tried. No matter how badly she believed that he'd get better, she could still not stop herself from thinking that he'd leave. That he'd die and never come back.

She wasn't sure if she'd be able to live through that. Screw the fact that they've only been dating six months. When you know, you know. There's no other way. You just know. So what if he's a slight cocky bastard. That's cute sometimes. And what does it matter if once he starts talking you can't get him to shut up? All that really matters is the fact that she loves him.

How do you tell someone you love them?

She's always known when she was loved. Her parents had never said it to them. They had just known it was there. She had boyfriends before, but those never last long enough to even get past the liking idea. They didn't even last two months. It was your average fling and nothing ever happened other than holding hands.

In all truth, Wade was her first ever real boyfriend. The first guy she's basically done anything with.

And she wasn't even sure if he loved her. And was six months not too early to say it? How do you know when it's too early or too late to say I love you? Too late is probably when you never said it and the person walks away…or dies. But when is too early? Is too early a week or six months? A month or a year? When do you know for sure that you can say I love you without having the person freak out?

She had seen that. Annabelle, one of her friends from Washington said I love you two years into the relationship and the guy broke up with her. So how do you know?

And why is it so hard to figure out? Why can't I love you not be just that. Simple and real? Why does it have to be hard? And why does someone, with supposedly exceptional communication skills, who is supposed to be and interrogation dream, find it hard to find words, as way of description, to say I love you?

And why does someone, who has worked for a long time not to get close to people, have to feel this emotion for someone who will probably end up dying anyway? And why can't she just be cold hearted and pretend like it didn't matter.

And to make it all worse, on top of it all, she shot someone today. He might not die. She was fairly certain he might not die, but the idea of having done something like that. Having actually shot someone, whether in self-defence or not, it scares her.

She closed her eyes against the tears and leaned back against the bathtub.

Somehow telling herself that everything would be ok just doesn't seem to be working. She wanted it all to be ok, but something inside her just doesn't want to agree with her. She wanted to get up and find Emily and tell her to make it all better, to make Wade take the stupid chemo, but she didn't want to get up at the same time. She just wanted to sit there.

A quarter to five the alarm clock goes off. They had gotten back late morning, she hadn't slept one bit and it was already time to get up. She does it anyway. Get up, take a shower and get dressed. She needed report to Stryker about what happened. And she still needed to see a doctor.

She grabbed Wade's file from the bathroom cabinet and got her camouflaged jacket before walking to the door. Wade was on the other side. He seemed to be just staring at the door for a moment, and then he realized she was there and grinned. His bright and beautiful grin. "Hey, sweets." He greeted.

She smiled and stood on her toes and kissed him. She didn't pull away from him after they stopped kissing. She just hugged him tightly. Holding on as if she's never going to let go. "I love you." She said. Simple. Easy. And not hard at all.

He was quiet for a long time and she cringed mentally. Hoping that it wasn't too soon. "Good. That's good. I love you too." He answered.

She nodded against his chest and looked up at him. "And if something's wrong you'll tell me, right?" She asked.

He grinned and leaned down to kiss her again. "Of course." He says simply. And she cringes mentally again, because she knows he's lying.

She nodded slowly and pulled away from him, side stepped him and started down to Stryker's office. "I'll see you later, ok? I have to go see Stryker and the doctor."

"Why do you need to see the doctor?" She wasn't sure if he was panicky because she might be hurt or because she might know.

"I got hurt on the mission last night." She says while stopping and turning around again.

He looked angry at that. "What? Who hurt you?" She could tell he was itching to slide one of those swords off his back.

She smiled at him. "Don't worry so much, it was my own stupidity. See ya." She walked away before he could say anything else.

Maybe walking away was stupid. But it made sense.


	8. Chapter 8

**Next chappie, enjoy!**

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Notes lay scattered all over the desk. Kelly sighed and leaned back in her chair. He still hadn't told her. They've been going out a little over sixteen months now and no word. It was as if he thought she wouldn't notice. Wouldn't notice the changes in him. He was slimming down. Always pale and sometimes he just plain sat out of missions. That was her first sign. The sudden sitting out. It wasn't like him. Even if it bothered her, he did enjoy what he does.

But that wasn't the worst of it. The worse he gets; the happier Stryker gets. Victor's blood did nothing. She had the doctors give it to him. They weren't allowed to mention her; they weren't allowed to mention Victor. They were just supposed to give it to him and tell him it was on Stryker's orders.

Getting Victor to agree with it had been hell. He had been stubborn and cold and told her that it was none of their business. It wasn't until she screamed at him that if it was James. If it were James she was begging for he'd have done it. No matter how angry he was at James for leaving, he still loved his brother.

But his blood did nothing. Victor wasn't really such a bad character. She still didn't like him much. But oddly enough he wanted Wade to get better. Whether it was so he could have the honour of killing Wade himself, or because she somehow found a way into his heart, she didn't know.

But she was running out of ideas. She didn't know what else she's supposed to do. She didn't have any more ideas on how to fix this. She didn't know how to make it better anymore.

She covered her face with both hands and dragged them down her face. She was tired and unnaturally emotional.

Everything came down to one person. Everything. Stryker's notes, which she stole, say that James can withstand things better than Victor, but that wasn't even all the notes. She didn't know how, didn't know why, and she didn't really specifically care. If she could find James, she'd find a way to save Wade.

She jumped when Jerry crashed through her office door. She gazed at him with a slow glare. "Captain! They've taken Major Wilson!" He said earnestly. His shaking hand was pointed in the direction of the base entrance. The base entrance led to where the mutants were held.

She frowned. "What are you talking about?" She asked getting up. She grabbed the leather jacket from the back of the chair and pulled it on. It was too big for her and one of Wade's.

She followed him as he explained. "Major Wilson collapsed in the armoury. The doctors told Stryker that he's becoming too weak, and that his constant pretending that he's not ill was making it worse. Stryker ordered Major North to throw him in the cage next to Miss Frost's."

She stopped walking. "Excuse me?" She asked. He opened his mouth to repeat what he had just said, but she ignored him and marched down to Stryker's office. She was going to give the bastard a good piece of her mind. She threw the door open and glared at the man behind the desk Victor and David sat there; they actually jumped, not having expected her. "What the hell are you doing?" She snapped angrily.

She didn't even look at David. He could go to hell for all she cared. "Excuse me, Captain?"

She narrowed her eyes at Stryker. She was going to kill the bastard. "Let him go." She said softly, her tone dangerous.

"Who? Wilson?" He asked sounding disinterested. She clenched her fists together. He was making a mistake if he thought she'd allow him to play stupid with her. "I don't think so. You see, Mr. Wilson has become useless to me. Or at least, he is useless until I can further my experiments."

"Experiments? What experiments?" She hissed.

"I will create Wade Wilson into the finest and most powerful weapon on this planet. I'll advise you to go and say goodbye. I don't think he'll survive it." He said.

She stared at him for a moment. Open disgust and revulsion burning behind her eyes. Then her expression went blank. "How so sir?" She asked; she lightened her tone. She made it sound like she was actually interested.

Stryker seemed surprised for a moment, but he was so exhilarated by this that he didn't seem to care much. "By fusing Wilson with compatible mutations. Why do you think we have all these mutants? The only ones we need now are Scott Summers and James. Victor will go look for Scott. I already have a method of convincing James." He explained. "See once I have James I'm going to fit him with Adamantium. He will be Weapon X."

She nodded. "When you bring James to wherever, I'd like to go with you sir. He might agree more easily to all of this if I go with you." She said.

"Yes, yes, of course." He agreed and waved her away.

She saluted him. "Sorry to have interrupted sir." She said and walked out.

Jerry stood outside. A sick look on his face. He must've heard the conversation while standing outside. She walked him far enough from Stryker's office and snapped her fingers to get his attention. She pressed him against the wall and narrowed her eyes at him. "What I'm about to tell you, does not reach the ears of anyone else." She was glad the hall was empty.

He nodded. "I want you to find all the files Stryker has on James. Private mission, he doesn't know. I want to know everything about James. I want to know why he is going to be fitted with the Adamantium. What makes him different from Victor?" She said and let go before stalking down to the base entrance.

She was not going to lie down so that Stryker can just walk over Wade. And if James will be given the Adamantium, it meant that his healing ability is better than Victor's (At least that's the response she's hoping for). If that is the case, all she needed was two vials of his blood and Wade would heal. The cancer would go away.

She shoved the doors open and glared at the two big men who stood on the other side. She ignored the mutants in the cages, all gazing at her curiously. She'd assume it was out of fear. Mostly because of the fact that these people, kids really, some were barely out of high school age, had dealt with far too many people miss treating them.

She didn't have to walk far to find the cage Wade was locked in. She stood in front of it and felt cold anger building up in her. He wouldn't have been in this position if he had just told her. "So instead of just telling me, this is where you'd rather end up?" She asked angrily.

He opened his eyes. They were flashing with pain; the skin under his eyes was dark. Hand sized bruises were already forming over his arms. She was going to torture whoever man-handled him. They had no right to do that. He sighed and dropped his head back against the wire-fence like cage wall. "I'm sorry." He muttered.

"Sorry? That you didn't tell me or that I found out? Makes it rather hard to figure out if you just say sorry." She snapped.

Wade lifted his head and glared darkly at her. It was enough to make her step back a little. Even when she knew he couldn't get to her through the locked door. She knew he wasn't his father. He wouldn't lay a hand on her. But no one, not even Victor, could create fear in her like Wade could. "So what was I supposed to do? Tell you? Do you really think I'm that stupid?" His voice was hard and cold. Angry. He had never been angry at her before.

She didn't let down. She was on the outside of that cage. "Yes. You were supposed to tell me! Were you planning on just getting so bad that you died? Would that have made you feel better?" She sneered in return.

She couldn't believe that a year and four months into their relationship, the first thing they fight out about is a damn illness. "Go to hell, Kelly." He snapped angrily.

She glared at him and spun around, walking towards the door. She heard the girl next to him, Emma Frost say: "You shouldn't have said that to her. She's only caring about you."

She was at the door when he replied. "I know."

She sat in her office for who knew how long. A few of the soldiers on her team had come to check on her. Maybe every hour or so, she couldn't be quite sure. Emily was the last to check on her. She stayed longer than the others. And she didn't pretend to have a question she forgot. Jerry had three questions, for real, but none of them made any sense and if she really looked into it she was sure he could've answered them on his own.

Emily sat down and studied her for a moment. "You argued with Wade." She stated.

Kelly sighed and dropped her head onto the top of the leather chair. "I don't need you to counsel my relationship." She muttered.

There was a moment of silence in which Kelly counted the little dots in the ceiling. "I just meant that's the first time you argued." Emily said quietly. "I figured you'd want to talk about it."

She lifted her head and shook it, ran her hands down her face and got up. She suddenly cursed the bright idea not to have a clock or any way to tell the time in her office. "How late is it?" She asked.

"Close to twelve." Emily answered and got up as well.

She shook her head. Ten hours. What was wrong with her? In the one time Wade needs her most she goes and flip. Badly. "Help me?" She asked.

Emily nodded and followed her through the base to her and Wade's room. She opened one of the closets and pulled sets of pillows and blankets from it, handed some to Emily and started for the room with the cages. Most of them were asleep when they got there. So all they did was quietly enter the code, place a pillow under their heads and cover them with a blanket.

The girl named Emma Frost was awake. "You helped Remy, right?" She asked in a whisper as she took the blanket from Kelly.

Kelly glanced at Emily who was at the other end, handing out the last blanket she had. "Yeah. But not much, he did most of it. Don't say anything though." She said and got up from her crouch.

She walked back out and into the cage next to Emma's. Wade had a pained expression on his face. She woke him up as she sat down with her back against Emma's connecting cage wall, and made him put his head in her lap. She then covered him with the blanket and told him to go back to sleep. She sat on the pillow, running her hands through his hair. He looked less pained, but she was sure he still hurt. And invisible hurt she couldn't take away.

"He really felt bad about earlier." Emma said softly.

She glanced at the girl, half surprised to find her sitting with her back against the connecting cage wall on the pillow, playing with the blanket over her legs. "Me too." She muttered.

Emma nodded slowly. "He said that he didn't want you to worry. That he didn't want you to think he'd leave you." She explained.

Kelly closed her eyes. "I know." She said softly. "I know. He'll be ok. I'll make sure of it."

Emma glanced at her, having noted the determination. "You'll ok here, right Kelly?" Emily suddenly asked.

Kelly nodded and smiled. "Of course. I'll be fine. Thanks." She said softly. Emily saluted and walked out of the room. "We'll all be fine." She muttered.

A boy bound in stretching rope, flashing so fast he was just a blur snorted. "We? Don't get me wrong lady. I'd like to believe that. Be we's boyfriend put us in here. For all I care he can go straight to hell." He said darkly.

She didn't answer him. Each was entitled to their opinion. "I'll get you out. All of you. I promise." She said softly.

"When? I hope it's not when he dies." Another girl, black with white hair, snapped. She understood their anger. Tried to in the least. Remy had a lot of it. He had felt it towards anyone who had thought they could do to him whatever they wanted.

She shook her head. "He's not going to die. I won't let him." The three kids awake studied her for a moment; she just kept her gaze on Wade.

He was sleeping better now. That made her happy. He didn't look like he was in pain anymore.

They soon fell asleep, each thanking her for the blankets. She just smiled at them. For the first time since Emily told her Wade was sick, she thought about children again. She'd like to have children one day. Not now, now was too early and now was just not right. But one day. When they didn't live in this situation anymore. And she'd like Wade to be the father. She'd like Wade to be around for that.

She didn't sleep. She waited and sat with Wade, because that's what she was going to do until she figured out how to get James to give her some of his blood. The thought of that being nearly impossible burned through her. The thought that no one has heard from James in close to six years scared her even more.

She closed her eyes and thought about how she was going to do this. How it could possibly work. She didn't know. She had no idea how to make this work.

She tapped the pen steadily against her desk. Watching the folded letters in front of her like it was the only thing in the world. She had figured it out. The only way to do this was to go. To go and look for him in the place where Stryker's files says he is. But she's got to do it fast. If she waits any longer things will go to pot. It has literally been six years since James left them. Three months from now, she'd be twenty-two.

She left them there. The letters. She only took one with her as she grabbed the leather jacket that was Wade's and an old backpack of hers. The first one she used to runaway with. She was running away again. But this time she planned on coming back. Really, really coming back. With all hell to pay.

A month ago this wouldn't even had been an option. It wasn't until Jerry brought her those files that she thought about how to commence this plan.

Wade was asleep when she crouched next to him and pushed the letter into his hand, which was rest on the pillow next to his head. It had surprised her at first that no one took the pillows and blankets away from her. She kissed him on the temple, smiled encouragingly at Emma and walked out.

Wade

_I'll be back, I promise. I just need to find James. He can help, I'm sure of it. When I get back, I'll make you better. I won't let them hurt you. Emily and Jerry will check on you. They have a number for the cell I brought the other day. They'll call me when Stryker plans anything. _

_Love you lots_

Kelly

It wasn't long. And it probably wasn't much. But it was enough. She hoped it was enough. And she hoped he'd wait just a little longer. He'd soon be ok.

The outside was dark. Huge massive stone buildings rose up all around her and for the first time she wondered how she was getting of this slab of land. She gazed around and sighed and started in a direction. She'd find away off, she just had to.

She was walking for thirty minutes when she remembered that Victor had to find a way of this base as well. That Victor would've flown off the base. She backtracked and went to the airbase.

She couldn't hide her surprise when she found most of her team there. There was only two amongst them that had originally showed her any respect without Wade's threats. "We follow our Captain." One of the men informed her.

"We figured Major Wilson can't be that bad if you'd risk your military career for him." Another one said.

"And we got a pilot." The guy grinned charmingly at her.

She nodded slowly and followed them to the plane. She wasn't sure why they were helping her. But she wasn't going to deny it either. She needed help. She couldn't say she didn't. And if she needed to put all the trust she had in these soldiers. She'd do it.

The man they got as a pilot was older than thirty-five. His brown hair was peppered with grey and his eyes were a sparkling amber colour. He saluted her and smiled. "Where to, Captain?" He asked.

She sighed softly and studied the cockpit wall next to him. She hoped to God that Wade would be alright. She hoped that everyone would be safe until she can find James and that while she looks; no one does anything stupid.

She hoped that Stryker didn't screw up his own plan and started sooner on it than she hoped.

She turned her dark brown eyes onto him and determined herself. She was ready now for anything. She was prepared as prepared could be. And she was not failing. Not in a million years. She refused to fail.

"To Canada."


	9. Chapter 9

**Next chappie. Enjoy and leave a review!**

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She finally found him. Six days, four hours and fifty-nine minutes and thirty-two seconds after starting her search (she had to be specific, it was hell lookin for him), she finally found him. He was alone on a relatively grassy hill with huge and massive trees around him, smoking a cigar. He was probably supposed to be working with the group of men below.

They had all grinned at her and laughed when she asked for James (didn't know who that was, so she described him, huge guy, funny hairstyle probably always seen with a cigar in his mouth). Neill, one of the men on her team, had stood next to her, decked out in full military gear. "You ain't gonna convince him ta join ya kid." The man had said with amusement.

She had smiled sweetly and replied. "I don't want him to join." She had then quickly walked in the direction

He had his back turned to them and she took quiet and slow steps. She didn't want to startle him. But he knew. He had always known when she was around. "You smell like Wilson." His first words to her.

She wasn't sure if she should feel offended or if she just didn't care. She was happy to see him. Elated even. She couldn't think of anything better in that one moment. She found an old friend and Wade's cure. She hoped to have found Wade's cure. But that was what optimism was for. And she was going to use it for all she was worth.

Neill shifted next to her. He apparently didn't like the idea of them being the only ones to be in the presence of this man. Of course Neill didn't exactly know why she was looking for James so badly. He just knew that they were going against everything Stryker stood for.

"Can we talk?" She asked in reply.

He turned around and faced her. He looked around him, then at Neill and shrugged. "If Stryker sent you here to get me to go after Victor, then you got it wrong. I'm not doing it." He said simply.

She stared at him. To say she was confused was beyond hilarious, she wasn't just confused, she was completely knocked for a six. She didn't have a clue why he'd have to go after Victor. Wasn't victor part of the plan in the great scheme of things? "I'm not here for that. Not that I'd know anything about that. I need your help." She said.

James filled his lungs with the smoke from the cigar. "You need my help?" He asked.

She nodded. She needed him to agree. She really needed him to agree. "Yeah. I need your help." She said again.

He nodded and started down the hill. "Well, come on." He said. She followed him as Neill followed her. When they got down the hill James yelled out to a couple of people, telling them that he was taking an early break and would be back soon.

Neill got into their own black truck, handed her the two syringes and drove off. She then went to get in with James. The drive into town was done in silence. In that time he lit another cigar. He came to a stop at a old looking diner and led her inside and took a seat in the far back of the place.

The waitress took their orders, brought their drinks and left again. And still they sat in silence. He lit another cigar before he spoke. "So how are you taking it?" He asked.

She stared at him. Confusion glittering behind her eyes. What the hell was he talking about? It made nearly no sense at all. "Excuse me?" She asked.

He sighed and looked sad. It was like he felt sorry for her. "I can smell him on you. I was just wondering how you were taking it."

She stared at him. There was something wrong with his hearing then. Or with the information he got. Because she had no idea how smelling Wade on her had anything to do with how she was taking whatever he was talking about. "The fact that he has cancer? Bad. I don't know what to do. That's why I'm here." She said softly.

He looked like he had just been hit over the head with a baseball bat. "Cancer? Kelly, Stryker said Wade is dead. Victor killed him." He explained.

She got stuck on the 'Wade is dead' part. The words had a sick and twisted ring to them. And now more than ever she couldn't allow them to be real. She couldn't allow them to be true. His words slowly reached her muddled brain and she shook her head wildly. "No. No, Victor didn't kill Wade. I don't know why Stryker told you that, but I'm quite certain I'd know if he was dead. Look, it has something to do with the Adamantium. I don't know what. I know less than a goat about anything of this. Stryker wants some sort of weapon." She explained. "He wants to make Wade that weapon."

"Adamantium?" James asked.

She shrugged. "It's not important. It's the stuff from Africa. Ok. I don't like to talk about Africa. Can we please get to the part where I need your help?" She asked snappily.

He sighed and ran his hand down his face. "What sort of help?" He asked.

She set the two empty syringes on the table. "According to Stryker's files, all I need is two Syringes of your blood to have it successfully mix with Wade's. That way, the Mutant X-gene will spread more easily and mutate with the DNA strings. That's what the file says. I just figure it means, I have your blood, the DNA mixes, and Wade gets better." She said.

He sighed and glanced at the needles. "That's it? That's what you want? Kelly, why do you want this so badly?"

She felt her eyes burn at the simple question. It was so damn easy to ask. "Because," she whispered, "he won't leave like everyone else. I love him, James. I really, really love him."

James stared at her for a moment. It was like she had just declared she was insane and would like to jump of a bridge into an empty river for her birthday. Of course declaring that she loved Wade was probably what James would consider insane. "Logan." He said suddenly.

She frowned at him. Logan? Who the hell was Logan? That made even less sense than her declaration of love. "Who's Logan?" She asked huffily.

"Me. Around here I'm known as Logan." He said.

She smiled and nodded slowly. "Yeah. Ok. Logan. I like that. Will help me?" She asked.

He nodded slowly. "I will. And tell him. He hurts ya, I'll cut of his balls."

She grinned at him, trying hard not to laugh. "Hey, as for the Adamantium. I don't know what it's supposed to do. But it's some sort of metal. Stryker wants to inject you with it. I don't know how that will turn out. But…if it helps. Just in case Victor did go awol. Take it."

He nodded slowly, dropped money onto the table and made her follow him. He led her into the bathroom; the waitress who served them gave them a funny look, but said nothing. She just hoped James wasn't dating anyone. She didn't want stories running around and she sure as hell didn't want trouble right now.

He leaned against the wall and stuck out his right arm. Other than sticking the needle in and pulling the blood into it, she didn't know much. So she did what she knew. She pulled them full to the brink. And smiled softly when he complained about slight dizziness. "Thanks for this." She said softly.

He nodded slowly and leaned further into the wall. "Just give him my message, kid." He answered.

She walked to the door and stopped. She stared at the handle for a long time. "James," he hummed in acknowledgement, "what do I do if this doesn't work?"

He was silent for a while then cleared his throat. "You let it go and say goodbye." He said.

She left without answering him on that. She didn't have an answer for that. She called Neill from a payphone and waited barely ten minutes for him to come and get her. He brought along the small cooling bag they had picked up and filled with ice. It was supposed to be for a hipflask, which could be carried on the hip. She carefully placed the two syringes in it.

She watched the buildings flash by and realized a few minutes later that Neill wasn't driving back to the motel they had hired rooms at. Neill eventually stopped in front of what looked like a place, which sells guns. She was half surprised. She was not exactly sure why they needed guns. Inside the place looked like one massive military operated arsenal.

She was surprised, truly and honestly, surprised that the thing got a licence. Each of the men on the team had something like three or four duffle bags with them. And they were loading guns and handheld things and bulletproofs and helmets as if they were about to go to war.

Neill stood with her, centre of the room, and told the men what to get. She had no problem with this. She had nearly no clue as to what sort of guns it was; she just knew what David's guns look like. She knew grenades because Jerry likes to play with them. And that was it for her weaponry knowledge.

She felt a sinking uselessness crawling over her. How did she ever think she'd be able to find James without help? How did she ever think she'd get back into base without help? Emily and Jerry didn't count. They were only two people.

But with this squad of five men, all fully trained in combat, big and probably pretty powerful with those guns, she'd actually gotten a chance.

"How are you intending on paying for this?" She asked casually. There was no way these guys would find out that she might not find this casual at all.

Neill grinned. "Per bag. All under the table. The old man said he'd charge us a thousand per bag."

She nodded slowly, trying hard to keep the confusion from her face. "And why are we doing this?" She asked.

"If we're gonna defect, Captain, we're gonna do it good." He explained.

She frowned. "Defect? Who said anything about defecting?" She asked.

He glanced at her. "Captain, what we're doing is generally referred to as defecting. It means we would go against our code for something we believe in or criminal activities or some such nonsense." He explained with the patience of a mother trying to teach her child to count.

Kelly couldn't feel more like a noob. She should've known that was it. "Right." She said nodding expertly. Because really, she was an expert at nodding, especially when she had absolutely no clue as to what was being discussed or when she knew she just made herself look stupid.

It took them a little over four hours to figure out exactly what they wanted. Then they were going back to the motel. The old keeper of the place stared at the group of men, and her, who had come with no baggage but a backpack, and was suddenly going to leave, eventually, with more than just a backpack. She pretended not to notice this. The man was already suspicious of them.

She had over heard him ask one of the men whether they were a runaway bunch. That sounded half weird, mainly because considering them, as a runaway bunch is unfair. Really. They were older than sixteen. They could leave when they felt like it.

"When are we leaving?" Pete asked a few nights later.

Kelly was eagerly awaiting an answer from Neill, as he was apparently more of a Captain than she was. "Later tonight." After three full days of just sitting around in the motel, they were finally moving? That seemed a little odd. But cool. She didn't mind.

Later tonight came quickly. Maybe it was because Kelly was wishing away the time. Maybe it was because she got the picture of curing Wade firmly stuck in her head. Whatever the reason. The, what the pilot called it, ten hour flight had better get over quick. She wasn't a doctor and she wasn't sure how long blood could actually just sit in a cooler and be good. Or whatever.

She was going to murder whoever had the idea to build countries far apart from each other. No that wasn't fair. It wasn't their fault that some cosmic happening screwed it all up. She'll blame someone else. Stryker. Stryker seemed like a good choice to put the blame on.

The base was concealed by the night when they finally got to it. The old man landed the plane at the edges on the beach near the water. From there it was a hour walk to base, and then the process of getting in would start up. She stopped them about a kilometre from the base. They'd walk that in ten minutes. "Ok, listen up." She started in a whisper. "You boys will pretend to have chased after me, when I left. And brought me back here to face the cavalry for betraying Stryker. Ok?" She asked.

She smiled when they nodded. They ran the rest of the way, making the kilometre in less than ten minutes. Outside Neill grabbed one shoulder and Pete grabbed the other and marched her up to the door. The guards nodded, asked no questions and let them in. Inside the guards weren't so nice. They frisked her down and took the smaller cooler bag. The soldiers led her to an off side room.

She sat there for maybe thirty minutes when shouts and commands from voices she didn't know reached her. The door clicked open and she gazed at it steadily for a moment.

Her boys had come through.

She quickly jogged through the base and down to the room where all confiscated goods were held. She wasn't surprised to find that no one was even in the room. She scanned the objects and frowned. She just got the cooler confiscated and it was already missing under all this shit? How is that possible?

She cursed the stupid morons for their incompetence in carefully confiscating things and started searching. She could hear shouts and gunshots all over the base. She couldn't decide if it was possible that the shots were near the caged rooms, and she hoped to God that Emily and Jerry were alright. She threw something over her shoulder and a loud clatter and a clang of metal on ground had her turning around.

She slowly walked over. She knew she should be looking for the cooler, but she found herself fascinated with the fact that the morons actually confiscated Wade's swords. She kneeled down and reached out for them. She could see him twirling around and grinning charmingly (if not a little maniacal). She smiled. Reached out for them and picked them up. He was going to need them when he got better. She put them on the counter next to the door, right where she'd be able to see them when she left.

After twenty minutes she was cursing every damn curse she knew. Especially when she realised she wasted nearly an hour looking for a cooler bag, which was right on the counter. And that she had put the two katana right next to it.

She grabbed the three items and started running down the hall to the cages. She could still hear shooting. When Neill had told her the whole defecting thing, she didn't not expect it to mean that they were massacring the whole base. Or anyone who dared go against them. She had no idea how many of these soldiers were actually on the same terms as Stryker. From the amount of shooting, she figured there were quite a lot of them.

She crashed into the door from not getting her footing right. Just as she was about to punch the code in the door slid open. Jerry and Emily nodded to her from the other side, glanced at the swords and let her through. "I found him, Emily!" She shouted as she ran to Wade's cage. "Found him and the blood." She continued while punching the code into the keypad.

It beeped. Flashed green then red. A bright red ACCESS DENIED flashed at her. She stared at it for a moment. Entered the code again and narrowed her eyes at the stupid thing for not working. Wade sat with a small wry smile on his face. She huffed clipped the cooler onto her jean belt and set the one of the katana on the floor. She slipped the other from the holster, dropped it to the floor and positioned the katana so it was right between the 4,5,6 and 7,8,9 buttons. And shoved hard. Sparks flew for a moment. A fading ACCESS GRANTED flashed at her and the door clicked open.

"Didn't think I'd do it, did you?" She said grinning.

"Hey? Is this someone who will help us?" The voice was new. Not the usual mutants. She glanced up. A boy with his eyes shut by something. She couldn't quiet figure it out. The red glasses flashed through her mind. In the confiscation room those were on the top shelves.

"Scott Summers." Wade murmured.

"Yeah, kid, I'm here to help! Just stay put for a moment." She called out to him. She pulled the cooler from her hip and held Wade's arms out. "I love you." She told him. He smiled and leaned forward slight and kissed her. She smiled and pulled the two syringes from cooler. She placed the one carefully onto the ground and pressed the needle of the one in her hand into his arm. He hissed softly, clenched his hand and closed his eyes. She pressed the butt end in and watched as James's blood went into Wade's arm.

His breathing picked up. She glanced at him. Worried that something was wrong. "You ok?" She asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, keep going." She pushed the rest of the syringe's blood into his arm. His whole face was matted with sweat. "Don't worry." He muttered.

She nodded and took the other one, she tried hard not to miss the spot she had just pushed the other one into. Emily was shouting about something. She started to push the blood through the needle into his arm. She stopped again when he hissed and dropped his head back. Something wasn't right. But again he told her to just keep going. So she did.

His breathing was unnaturally uneven when she was done. Sweat ran down his face and arms and stuck the white muscle shirt to his chest. His chest was rising and falling as if he'd just run a marathon at full speed the whole way. She was starting to panic. "Wade?" He didn't answer her. He should've but he didn't.

He looked like he was in pain. Serious pain. He shouldn't have looked like he was in pain. Somehow he slumped down with his back and head to the floor. She stared at him. "Wade?" The sound of something metallic building up and shots ringing off it made her look up.

Jerry stood in the centre of the hall created by the cages. His hands lifted before him. Palms flat up like he was pressing against something invisible. And about two or three meter before him, a solid metal wall built up. She stared shocked for a moment. Even the mutants around her were shocked. Emily gazed at him and then grinned at her. "The little bastard!" She cheered.

Kelly nodded and turned back to Wade. His chest wasn't rising and falling like it had done a moment ago. In fact it looked still. As in not moving, still. She jumped when sparks flew around her. Emily had done what she had done with Wade's cage to the other cages. She holstered the katana and brought it in, picking the other one up as she went. Kelly ignored her and pressed her head over Wade's chest. His eyes were closed and his heart wasn't beating.

She frowned. "Wade?" She whispered and gazed at his face. She ran her hands over the sides of his face. "WADE!" She screamed when she realized exactly why he wasn't moving. She slammed both hands down onto his chest as hard she could. She felt the tears streak down her cheeks. She felt the bubbling pain of abandonment and realized she couldn't blame him.

It had been her idea.

Jerry's arms wrapped around her, a lot like Wade's had back in Africa. But he wasn't Wade. He pulled her clear of the ground and carried her out. Emily laid the swords next to Wade. Whispered something and then jogged out.

She went limp in Jerry's arms. She ignored the mutants around them. She barely paid attention to Emma leading Scott through the alleys and halls of the base. She ignored Scott telling them to go a certain way.

She had killed Wade.


	10. Chapter 10

**Ookami Village doesn't exist. At least I think it doesn't. **

**But as always, read, enjoy and review! **

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Ookami was a beautifully small village. It was surrounded by a mass of green hills, nestled right in the centre with only one way in. Through a pass, this laid between two of the hills. Inside the village was just that, a village. There was a small clothes shop. A market was in process with all kinds of vendors. There were two or three stalls where people could eat and a small school, which she was sure, was mixed with a high school. There was a church like building and a doctor's. And the rest of about a hundred or so were houses. There was one inn at the other end of the village.

Kelly stood in the door of this inn. She was the only occupant she knew of. She smiled to herself. The sun was beating down on them; the sky was a pure blue with wispy white clouds and a warm breeze travelled through the place. Technically it was too warm for the leather jacket she had on, but that didn't bother her much. It was more of a fact that she refused to part with the jacket.

Maybe running of to Japan hadn't exactly been what Professor Xavier had meant when he told her to go and find herself again. She could remember the conversation as clear as daylight.

"_My dear." His voice had been soft and caring. The way he always spoke. In her trance like, unresponsive state, Kelly realized that this was his normal voice. He would never raise his voice to those around him. _

_She didn't answer him. She kept staring at the wall. The wall was a safety mechanism. The wall didn't say anything. The wall just stood there. It was a support beam to the roof. The wall didn't have the voice of a kid saying 'the guy was dying anyway. Personally, I think she did him a favor' or 'poor girl. I'm sure she didn't mean to kill him, she loved him after all' the wall didn't say jack shit and while she could still hear them. She could pretend she didn't hear them. _

_The only conscious thought through her head was that Wade was dead. The only memory running through her head was his completely still chest. And that was it. The rest didn't matter. _

_She didn't answer him. She didn't because if she did, she'd have to face what she had done. And she wasn't ready for that. "You need to find yourself again, my dear." The Professor continued as if she wasn't ignoring him. _

_His words made her look at him. His words made her break the trance and for a moment it felt like she had just woken up. The feeling one gets after waking up in an unfamiliar place after sleepwalking. She studied him. He sat in a crouch next to her chair. The one she had turned around so she would face only the wall. "Find myself?" She muttered. _

_She really wanted to laugh. What was there to find? An empty shell or a broken mirror? "You need to come to terms with what had happened, Kelly." He said. _

_  
She continued to stare at him. Come to terms with what happened? That should be easy. She killed the man she loved. What else was there? "You tried to save him." The Professor said. For a moment she thought that he could read minds. Then she remembered that yes, he __**can**__ read minds. She had heard it somewhere in a conversation. _

_She looked away from him, at the window; the trees were swaying against the rain pounding down onto them. "Yeah. I saved him. From what? Me?" She asked softly. _

"_You tried and that is what counts. You did not leave him to die." He said. _

_She laughed, a broken and cracked and teary laugh. "No. I didn't. But I did kill him. What does that make me?" _

_The Professor was silent for a few minutes. "I did not know this friend of yours, but I'm sure that he would have appreciated what you have tried to do for him." _

_She looked at him, a serious determination burning behind her eyes. She wanted him to understand. "But I don't. I took him away from me. I killed him." She snapped. _

_The Professor sighed. She almost imagined him thinking of her as an ignorant child with no manners. "You are not ignorant. As a matter of fact you are very well informed. But you are in pain and therefore I suggest you take a little break. Find yourself again." He said. "Get on a plane out of New York, go somewhere you've always wanted to go and find closure." He continued. "And when you are ready, come back to us." He smiled. "You will always be welcome here." _

The night she left all she took with her was a backpack with a few things; all she wore was a pair of jeans, a black turtleneck shirt and Wade's leather jacket, and she spontaneously (as the airport clerk told her) bough a ticket to Japan at two in the morning, for a flight that wouldn't leave for another four hours.

She sat on the uncomfortable benches as waited, thinking about what the Professor had said. She didn't know how to find herself. It didn't make sense to her. Find herself? How? She's always been with herself. How do you find something you never lost? Did finding herself have to do with finding closure? Or was finding closure finding herself? And where does one start to find one self?

There was a truckload of questions with no answers and even less want to have them answered. But still a need to have them answered. She was confusing herself with contradictions before actually even starting.

She was four days in Tokyo when she finally decided to take the man on the plane up and look for this village. Her first day was impossible. She didn't understand the people and the people didn't understand her. But they worked around that. The inn owners could speak a little English. They taught her a few things in the last two days. Two days in which she never ventured outside of the inn.

But she wanted to explore, and with the few words of Japanese she knew, she'd try.

She weaved in and out of the people at the market. The foods were colorful and smelled great. The clothes drew the attention before you even really looked at it. The people were polite and thoughtful.

It was until she came close to exiting the village that she saw the small shop tucked away in a corner of the village. She studied it for a moment. There was a big sign over the door and it looked a little like it had once been a house. There was small colorful garden. A small brick fence and a cobbled pathway leading up to the door. A water fountain stood to the left of the little path and children's toys were littered over the garden.

She wasn't sure if it was because someone actually lived there, or if it was for decoration. But she liked it. It had an almost homey feel to it. Out of curiosity she walked through the small little black metal gate and down the path. The front door was open, and the wall she could see was stacked with variously colored katana swords. They were all dark colored, deep navy blues to thick crimson reds. She curiously peered around the door to the left and stared in surprise at the walls lined with katana swords, every available space in the place was lined with swords. She looked to the right, the exact same. A small hallway led off out of the lobby like area and she quietly stepped into the cool shade of the house. The place felt like it had some sort of ethereal air around it. The hallway was stacked with the katana swords as well, it lead to a small kitchen, a bathroom and a set of stairs.

She figured the katana swords were the merchandise.

She quietly stepped into the large room to the right. She assumed it was once a dinning room. This was courtesy of the table in the center of the room. She quietly walked around the swords there. They were all beautifully crafted. And they were all really, really cool. She was sure if Wade were here, he'd have bought the whole shop just for the heck of it.

The thought of that, made her smile. She quietly (she didn't want to break the ethereal air or the silence that seemed to make the place) walked to the other side.

She was looking around the room for a full five seconds when she saw them. And fell in love immediately. They were on the opposite end of the wall. Two long bladed katana swords, with the hilts and holsters of some pure white material with what looked like black cherry blossoms over them. They had some sort of crimson red material worked into the hilts, a few spaces from each line. And dangling down from both hilts were two charms, both were made out of metal and in the form of a wolf. One looked like it was howling and the other just stood gazing out at something.

She reached out to them. She was stopped from touching them when someone loudly cleared their throats behind her. She nearly had a heart attack as she spun around and came face to face with a man who could be no older than maybe thirty-six. He narrowed his eyes at her, almost as if he had expected her to take the swords and leave without paying for them. She wondered if they were for sale. She hoped they were, she didn't want trouble. He said something in Japanese. "What are you doing?" He said after a moment's silence and her staring at him like he was insane.

She smiled sheepishly at him. "I wanted to look at the swords. Are they for sale? I'd like to buy them." She explained.

He studied her for a moment. He was now looking at her like she was the insane one. She really didn't like that look. "Can you use katana sword?" He asked.

She sighed and shook her head. "No. But…"

"You would like to learn. I will teach." He said and walked by her. She gazed at the spot he was standing. She didn't mind his offer. There was nothing wrong with the offer. It was a nice offer. But she hadn't really thought about that. She just liked them. That was all she was going to say.

He tugged the katana from their rack and held them both out to her. "Free of charge. I teach and you learn. Many months of training." He nodded a matter of fact manner.

She grinned at him. Maybe if she did the whole training thing for many months, she'll find closure. And she could just imagine Jerry's expression when she came back with two katana swords. "I'll pay, I don't mind." She said seriously.

He shook his head. "Free of charge. I teach, you learn." He said and made her take the swords. "Be back in afternoon. At three." He said. "I prepare." He spoke in the same English as the innkeepers: broken, but understandable.

She walked back with them to the inn. No one even looked at her carrying her two newly acquired swords. Satoshi, the inn owner, glanced at her and smiled the moment she stepped through the front doors. "You see Hiroshi." He said.

She smiled and nodded. "Uhm…can you just remind me to be back at his place before three?" She asked.

He nodded and his expression turned serious. "Do not disappoint him." His tone held warning. "Hiroshi generous and tolerant of many things, disrespect not one." He continued.

She smiled. "Thank you, I'll remember that." She jogged up to her room, closed and locked the door behind her. She sat quietly on the bed. The two katana laid out before her.

She slowly pulled one from the holster and held it out before her. She could see her reflection in the blade of the weapon. For a long time she just stared at her reflection. She smiled slightly. The Professor would be proud. Only a few days…probably more like a week and few days, away and she was already feeling better. But she wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to go home. She replaced the sword in the holster and lay back into the headboard of her bed.

She laced her hands together and placed them on her stomach. She kept her knees in a bent position, over the swords. She closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing. It was the first time she willingly concentrated on her breathing since the day she told Wade about her brother.

The memory came to her even more vividly than the one of her brother. Maybe it was because unlike with this memory, she wanted to forget her brother's death.

_She was laying back on a white pool chair. A pair of large black sunglasses on her eyes and book open on her stomach. A warm summer's breeze blew over the ocean towards her. Wade was a few meters away. He moved in fluid and quick motions, the sun glinted of the two swords he twirled around in his hands. _

_  
Sand kicked up into the air from where he landed during specific moves and sweat ran down his naked chest and back. He was concentrating so deeply that he didn't notice her scrutiny. She didn't mind. He could ignore her for the rest of her life if he just continued doing what he was and looking like some sort of Greek god. _

_When they had first gotten to the stupid Island, she hadn't expected this to be the first sight of pure joy she'd see. Not in the first two months. _

"_You're staring at me." He said suddenly. He wasn't even breathing irregularly. _

_She raised an eyebrow and gazed steadily at him from behind the glasses. She was sure if it was her, she'd be eating sand and looking dead. "What gives you that idea?" She asked. _

_He smirked at her and shrugged. "Oh no reason. You know. It's just you're not reading anymore and looking at me." He shrugged again. "I could be wrong. I mean, you could have figured out a new way to read, but who wouldn't stare at a guy like me?" He asked still smirking. _

_She lifted the sunglasses onto her head and studied him. "Aren't I allowed to stare at my own boyfriend?" She asked, forcing a light tone of huffiness into her voice. _

_He seemed about as concerned about her huffy attitude as a lion with a ant trying to attack it. "Don't get me wrong. I love the attention, I really do. But wasn't it you who said a guy who deemed himself pretty wasn't exactly your type?" He asked walking over to her. _

_Her gaze shifted to the two swords he still had in his hands. The sand reflected in the blades and was visible when he wasn't twirling them around his hands. "I might've said something in those lines a couple of years back." She said and lifted her eyes back to his face. "But I can promise you this. You won't consider yourself very pretty if you bring those things with in a year's distance of me." She warned him. _

_She liked him. A lot. But those things, she didn't trust. Not yet. He pouted, but shoved them into the beach. She studied them. Standing straight up and looking like a Japanese pirate had recently been to the island. She grinned, her grin soon turned to a scowl as Wade threw her book in one or the other direction and crawled over her. _

_He blocked her sun and the complete need for a pair of sunglasses. "I will murder you if my book got wet." She told him. _

_He cocked his head to the side and grinned at her. "Hmm, that seems like a not very nice thing to do to someone who wants to give you something." He said. _

_She raised her brows again. "Oh? And what exactly is it you want to give me?" She asked._

He smirked and shook his head. "Nope. You're too mean." He said. He sounded like a four-year old.

_She nodded and looked out under his arms. "Well fine. Be like that. But I would like it if certain two-year olds would go and get my book so that I can go back to my reading. That is, currently, far more interesting than you." She said. _

_He narrowed his dark eyes at her. For a moment she thought she honestly offended him. She thought she had somehow pissed him off with that little comment. The next moment he was kissing her. He kissed her deep, hard and breathtakingly. His right hand was pressed against the pool chair next to her head and the left dropped to her hip. "I swear to you. A damn book will never be more interesting than me." He got up. _

_She stared at him. He simply went back to his practicing. She couldn't help be feel huffy. He just kissed the hell out of her and then get up leaving her wanting more. That was clearly very unfair, but he didn't seem to think so. She also didn't get her book back. So she honored him with her attention._

The door banged open and snapped her to attention. Yuki smiled cheerily at her. The woman was small with dark hair and eyes. "Hiroshi come to pick you up." She said.

Kelly's eyes widened in horror. She grabbed the two katana. "I'm late?" She asked as she grabbed the jacket, she wasn't sure when she pulled it off, and ran to the door.

Yuki shook her head. "No. Hiroshi nice. Come pick you up." She explained.

Kelly sighed in relief. Hiroshi stood in jeans and a black t-shirt. He listened while Satoshi babbled away. He didn't seem at all bothered by this. He bowed to Yuki and Satoshi as they left and Kelly felt confused for a moment. "Why did you do that?" She asked.

He glanced at her. "It is manner of saying bye." He explained. She gazed her hands. Hiroshi had taken the swords from her. And felt slightly guilty, she simply waved at them every time she came in or went out of the room.

In the six months following she learned more about cleaning and fixing up various cut wounds. To her amazement she learned something about herself. She didn't scar. That was something she believed was amazing. Hiroshi went under her abuse as well, she learned that he is a mutant and, in fact, seventy-four, not thirty-six. He simply just aged very slowly. According to him he had been stuck in the form of thirty-six for thirty-eight years. While he aged slowly he also healed faster than the normal person, but not instantly.

It took her another six months just how to learn not to cut off anything valuable. To Hiroshi it was important that she learned this. He said that if she was not able to learn this then he would not be able to teach her how to impress people with her dazzling abilities. She doubted her abilities would ever be dazzling. But she humored him. In these six months the inn owners had come to stop asking for rent on the room. When she finally realized she wasn't paying rent and wanted to do so, they told her not to worry. She started helping them around the inn. Not that there was much to do. There weren't many visitors to the inn. In payment to Hiroshi she tried to get better and helped him around the shop. But again, there wasn't much to do either. It seemed like everyone either already had a Hiroshi sword or just didn't want one.

It took her another twelve months to be able to say she had dazzling abilities with swords. And this was only because Hiroshi insisted on it. Two years of solid training and she finally got it down. The idea of not slicing her wrists open with the two, whiling swinging them both around, elated her. But after training, simply sitting in the inn, killed her. She suddenly missed the sassy mouthed Ororo who had told her numerous times, while the girl (probably woman by now) thought she couldn't hear, that it was a good thing Wade had gone and sung to the demons of hell.

She even missed the even-tempered Jean Grey who was sarcastic in her own way. And as much as she missed the girl, she did not like her. Jean had this odd way of explaining the most logical things to Ororo. And even in a trance like 'I don't give a shit about the world' sort of state, it annoyed the hell out of her.

But she was ready to go home. She was ready to figure out what she needed beyond the closure of finding herself. She wasn't sure she did that, but she was sure it came close enough.

It was time to go home.


	11. Chapter 11

**The first few paragrahps feels ackward for some reason. I don't know. You guys tell me what you think. Enjoy**

* * *

The mansion door was thrown open after the third knock. A brief flash of dark skin and white hair and the door was slammed shut again. Kelly stood statue still for a moment, gazing at the door and wondering exactly what had happened.

Around twenty hours earlier she had called the Professor to tell him she was coming home. And so, thusly she had expected them to know that she was coming home. She knew they knew she was coming home, but for whatever reason Ororo felt the need to slam doors in her face, she didn't understand.

She shrugged. There were other ways to get into the school. She walked around the school and smiled cheerily when she came to the back of it. With as much force as she could, she threw the one duffle bag she had with her, over onto the second floor upstairs patio thing. She climbed the vine plant rail and jumped over the stonewall.

Not quite unexpectedly the glass doors leading into the second hall were open. The pure snow-white curtains bubbled brightly in the warm breeze. Kelly slowly entered through the door, gazed up and down the empty hall and walked towards the set of stairs leading down. She walked right past the room she once occupied before going back and entering it.

The room looked exactly the same, except for a few minor changes.

Two, very familiar, guns were laid out on the bedside table. David had given it to her on the first Christmas with the guys. Next to it was a pretty little charm bracelet from Chris. Dukes had given her a silver necklace; matching the bracelet Chris had given her. They'd probably gone and done shopping together. On the headboard of the bed was a black cowboy hat from John. The other guys had given her things to eat. But next to the bracelet, standing up, was the casing of the first bullet she had shot into a target. That was courtesy of Victor Creed. She had no idea why. The book she had read the day they got back from Africa was standing, a little open, with the cover to the front. It was James's book. And the last thing, the one thing that drew her attention the most, was the single fake red rose laid out across the necklace, bracelet and guns.

She could remember the day Wade had given her that rose, like it was yesterday. She didn't even need to concentrate on her breathing at all.

She could just close her eyes and she could see a replay of the whole event. "It's going to sound cheesy." He had said when he walked into the room they shared.

She had barely glanced at him, trying to make her way through a thick report one of the guys had given her. It was an old interrogation report she didn't even want to read. "What is?" She had asked when he dropped down onto the bed.

Her sight of the report had gone slightly blurry as it tried to focus on the words and the red rose suddenly in her view. It had taken her a moment to realize that the rose hadn't popped up from nowhere. It had taken her a moment to realize that Wade was holding the rose. "When this dies, I will stop loving you." He had said.

She hadn't answered him. She had stared at the rose and then glanced at him, before turning her gaze back to the rose. It had taken longer than it should've to realize that the rose was fake. At first she had thought he was seriously twisted if he was going to base what she felt for him on a rose that was going to die eventually. But when the realization had hit, she had smiled and pressed her lips to his mouth. "I love you."

She dropped the backpack onto the bed and the duffle bag at the foot of it and studied the assembly of things for a moment longer. She shrugged. She couldn't really figure out where they came from. The guns had been in her backpack, which had been confiscated, the night they went to save Wade. She had never seen the backpack since then. The book and other things had been left in her room before she had even left the base. She hadn't exactly expected to see them again. But she figured someone who had been on her team had raided the old base and brought it here. For whatever reason.

She slowly walked over to the bedside table and picked up the bullet casing. She studied it and shook her head, pulled the drawer open and dropped it inside. She placed the guns in there as well. The rest of the things she held in her hands and replaced after wiping the dust away.

She left the rest of things as it was. She figured she'd clean up later. Now, she'd just like to know why Ororo slammed the door in her face. Downstairs looked no different than she remembered either. Granted, she only saw the inside of one room downstairs so she wouldn't know if it changed much. She made her way to the kitchen, she didn't want to into the living room just yet.

Two arms wrapped around her and lifted her into the air, just as a bunch of confetti paper fell onto her. "Welcome home!" Jerry declared setting her down near the island.

She smiled brightly and pressed her hand over her chest, in a mock fashion of pain. "You guys should've told me you missed me this much, I'd have come home." She teased with a grin.

Ororo huffed. "Would've if we knew where to find you!" She said. She crossed her arms over her chest. She actually looked like a human now. All of them did. She scanned over the crowd. Emma was gone. Emily was also gone.

But the rest of them were there. Ororo didn't look like a skeleton and Scott had a set of dark red ruby colored glasses on his eyes. She had no idea what his power was, but those looked cool.

They talked the whole night away. She told them all about Japan. How she trained with Hiroshi. Lived with Satoshi and Yuki. She told them about Market day and the surrounding hills. They told her about Neill's visit. Emily going off to marry Neill. And Emma leaving the manor. She didn't ask questions about why. She just figured the girl needed time on her own.

She did ask where Emily lived now. Apparently the two hadn't gone too far from New York and she'd be able to visit once in a while.

Jerry told her about this new girl he found. A girl who didn't have a problem with mutants and figured they were as human as any other person on the planet. Scott told her that he had a crush on Jean (Jean wasn't around for that part). Jean wanted to be a psychologist and Ororo just wanted to learn how to control her powers and continue living and eventually working at the school.

By the time they finally went to bed, it was starting to become morning. Kelly smirked and sighed wistfully. "The irony." She muttered softly.

Ororo gazed at her a tiredly. "What?" She asked.

"In about ten minutes you have to get up for school." She said with a rather smug expression.

Ororo scowled at her. "Actually dear. I was wondering if you'd like the position as a communications teacher. Teach the children how to talk to each other. I think you'd be perfect for that."

Kelly smiled. She had never felt so honored before. She nodded. "Sure, of course, but I'll start tomorrow. Today, I'm sleeping in Jerry's room. Cleaning my room and working on a discussion topic."

Kelly watched as Jerry pulled his leather jacket straight, saluted her and started for the door. "Good luck Captain." He never stopped calling her that it would seem. Ororo said that whenever he spoke about her in the two years she had been gone, it was the Captain this and the Captain that.

"Why are you doing this to me?" She asked mournfully.

He laughed. A bright cheerful sound, a sound that she could not copy at the moment. "They're just a bunch of kids, Captain! How hard can it be to look after kids?" He asked sassily. He was supposed to help her baby-sit. The Professor was out to dinner with an old friend who had come to town. It was supposed to be her, Jerry, the kids, popcorn and a lot of corny movies. But now it was just she, and a bunch of kids. Who were all probably going to be very temperamental by the end of the night, mostly because she didn't know how to look after children.

She had never even babysat someone before, much less a group of someones. "You'll be fine Captain. I'll see you in the morning." He left like that.

Two weeks of teaching and everything and suddenly she were a babysitter. That sucked. It wasn't any sorts of fun at all. She sighed. She heard the gate creak open about a kilometer down from the front door. And just as it shut lightening flashed across the sky followed by a loud bark of thunder.

She felt a shiver race down her spine and quietly crept up to her room. She knew Ororo, Scott and Jean would take care of everything until she got down there. Inside her room she pulled the drawer open, checked the two guns and shoved them into the back of her jeans. She was going to sit uncomfortably, but something felt weird. She figured that was why she didn't want Jerry to leave. The leather jacket she was prone to wear (meaning she was never seen without it) covered the guns.

She looked up to the two katana, which was stationed over the bed, and glanced out the window. It was raining hard and relentlessly. She got onto the bed and pulled them down. The two wolves swinging back and forth it was almost like they wanted to run. She left the room and checked the glass doors, made sure they were locked and the dark velvet curtains pulled over the white ones.

Just before she closed them, a flash of lightening traveled across the sky and she could've sworn she saw something at the edges of the trees surrounding the place. She knew full well that she was only freaking herself out upstairs alone. She walked down and wasn't surprised to find the group of children already fully immerged in their horror movie.

She couldn't help but find the cinematic drama in that. A horror movie on a storming night with a group of kids and a woman who wasn't sure she could do much. The irony of it all. She sat in her plush chair. Facing the television, the two katana balanced into up right position and slouching down slightly. It still didn't stop the guns from being uncomfortable.

She wondered if this was what some people got. She wondered if now that she was back in New York and to her senses, this was an after shock of what had happened at the base, Africa, Texas all of it. Like soldiers who sometimes think they hear an explosion when it's only something falling…loudly unfortunately.

She was sure it couldn't be that. But she was also sure that Xavier's school for gifted youngsters were the safest place on the planet. She cut the sounds from the television off and concentrated on nothing.

"_You believe in self and home and you will be ok." _Hiroshi's words made her open her eyes.

She kept her eyes on the television. Her unease never left her. She found herself often glancing at the watch on her wrist. A welcome back present from Jerry. She was counting down the minutes to when either the Professor or Jerry would be back. But that seemed impossible. Every time she checked it seemed like time had slowed down purposely just to frustrate her. Eventually she just fell asleep, she was apparently more tired than she had thought she was.

She was woken by the lights flickering off and loud, crashing thunder outside. The kids in the room stayed completely still as the television flicked off and stayed dead. "Just hold on, it'll come back." Scott muttered.

A minute turned to five, five turned to ten eventually they sat in dead silence for a half hour straight with nothing happening. The unease Kelly felt earlier came back with full force and deadlier than before.

Something was wrong.

She slowly got up and grabbed the two katana. She didn't know what she was going to do with them. She knew very well she wouldn't kill anyone. "Stay here." She muttered. And she also knew full well that Hiroshi hadn't taught her how to use them to kill. He had taught her how to use them because he knew she needed help with herself. How, she didn't know. He had just known.

She didn't venture far. She wasn't brave and she wasn't stupid. Bravery almost always led to death. And she sure as hell wasn't going to die for something she wasn't even sure if it was there. Meaning she wouldn't die, but the thought would still have been there. She ventured as far as the kitchen island and the middle of the second floor staircase. And then she went back to the kids.

They watched as she walked in. One of them must've gone into the kitchen at some point during her half way up the staircase adventure, she blamed this knowledge on the small candle burning on the coffee table. It didn't offer much light, but it did offer light and that was the most important part.

She tried to smile reassuringly. "We'll just wait here for the lights to come on again." She said and sat down. She didn't miss how all the younger children crawled over to her chair and sat as close to it as possible.

Jean huffed, but nodded still. Ororo smiled. "We'll be fine. We'll be fine." She repeated. They came to sit with the younger kids. Quietly telling stories to them to keep them calm.

It worked well for a while. Then something upstairs broke. Glass by the sound of it. The loud shattering crash traveled hard through the quiet mansion. It was an instant reaction. They all blew at the candle and watched as it flickered out.

Kelly pulled the two guns from her jeans and slowly got up. She pulled the safeties back and walked to the door. The thick carpeting in the whole place dulled her steps to nothing but a soft spoofing sound. It was covered completely by the rain. She walked into the hall and stood in the center of it. If she stood still, absolutely still and held her breath and listened carefully. She could hear the dull thudding of heavy footsteps upstairs. Heavy footsteps of more than just one person.

"Scott, get them out." She whispered just loud enough for them to hear as she walked back and grabbed the katana swords. She stared at them for a moment and cursed softly. She didn't know how she was going to carry all of it at the same time. "Now." She continued to say as Ororo pulled something from under her chair.

"Now's as good as any other time. It was supposed to be a welcome back present. I bought it after you showed us the swords." She said and shoved something at Kelly.

From what Kelly could tell in the dark, it was a holster. She could slip it over her shoulder and then be able to put the katana on her back, and guns against her ribs. She smiled and nodded, quickly pulling it on and having Jean help her put the katana on her back. "Now, really, I need you to go. Find a safe place." She told them and moved back out to the hallway.

She heard them trudge as quietly as possible into the kitchen and out the back door. They were going to be soaked and cold before the minute was up. She shook her head as she moved up the stairs. Sticking to the shadows. The steps were still more up. She couldn't believe she was playing the brave one. The stupid one. The dead one if this went wrong. She should've gone with the kids and went to get help.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when something crashed upstairs. She stood frozen for a moment, trying to listen for sounds. There weren't any, so she started moving again. She couldn't decide if this was just some sick twisted game created by one of the anti-mutant groups or if it was a group of junkies looking for valuables or if it was some sort of real danger.

She decided on real danger a minute later. They were too high up in the building for it to be some insane group or junkies.

She stopped at the base of the fourth floor stairs. She could honestly say she found it sick and twisted what some people would do. She hadn't been able to believe Jerry when he told her what some people would do to fight against mutant rights. But she could also not believe what she was thinking about when she was supposed to be serious.

Someone was thrown into the wall just above the stairs and she quickly ducked and hid behind the stairs against the staircase wall. "Moron." Someone snapped. The voice sounded familiar. "The term 'silent as the grave' means just that. Be silent or I will put you in a grave."

A few more men chuckled and she cursed her stupidity. She couldn't take on what sounded like at least five or six men. Not on her own. And she was sure that at least some of these men were going to be mutants, if not all. She couldn't even handle one single mutant alone, the scar on her stomach, is the proof to that. She crouched down as someone started walking down the stairs. She kept herself to the shadows.

The guy was big. From his silhouette he was also well trained. She trained the two guns on his back and closed her eyes. She needed to protect those kids. No one but the taxi driver and the lot here knew she was even in New York. Hell she didn't even know anyone else but the group here. It came down to something simple. She had the element of surprise.

She pulled the triggers on both guns once. The loud dislodging of the bullets didn't allow the guy time to turn around. Whoever was with him shouted as he thudded to the ground. Stupidly they ran down. She didn't get chance to train the guns on four different people all at once, but two more went down before the last two realized she was standing in the shadows. And they ran at her. Stupidly again. She just pulled the triggers, hitting each of them. She was sure not in a critical place, but it would give her time to call –

Her thoughts froze in her head as the guy she had shot first got up with a groan. "I can never get use to that." He muttered. Her hands were limp at her sides and she couldn't help but stare at the guy. He turned around.

Lightening flashed again and glinted off the two swords in his hands. For a moment she was ready to smile brightly, laugh even and run to him. But then she remembered that Wade was dead. And that anyone could learn how to handle swords. She was living proof of that.

She regained her sense the moment she realized he was walking towards her. She shoved the guns into the opposite side of her arms' holsters and pulled the katana from her back. She could tell he was surprised by the hesitation he showed for a moment. Other than practice attacks, which became a routine later, she had no clue how to handle them in an actual battle. She didn't show the theatrics he did and mostly backed up and away from him.

Battle wasn't her thing at all. She was bad at it. She froze up and forgot everything she was supposed to remember.

He swung out at her and she blocked it with one of her katana. The loud clang of metal on metal echoed through the hall. He didn't wait for her to feel elated about having remembered how to block, the other sword got itself imbedded where her head had been seconds before. She felt a growing need to find something that would stop this fight before she ended up dead.

He moved them down the hall. Him swinging and walking forward with her trying to block and going backward. After about twenty minutes of a rather not routine fight, he had her deprived of both katana and the holster. She was literally and figuratively weaponless. She was weaponless with her back pressed to the wall.

They were standing next to the window they had broken. It took her a minute to collect her thoughts properly. They must've broken the window, went upstairs and then came back down when there was no one up there. And ran into her. Rain had soaked the carpet a little. And the moon was shining brightly. It was odd. It was raining, thick clouds she could see, but on one spot, the moon was clearly visible.

Lightening crashed through the sky as she looked back to the man. She stared at him long and hard in that second of a flash and then everything went black. All of it. The world around her, her vision and her head emptied.

Because there was no way. None at all that Wade Wilson could be standing there.


	12. Chapter 12

**This is the before last chapter. I hope this clears up a few things. Leave a review and Enjoy!**

* * *

She woke to a beeping sound. It sounded like a heart monitor. She didn't open her eyes. Hospitals were far too white and opening would burn her eyes right out of her skull. She must've gotten hurt in that fight at the Manor. That was probably why she was in a hospital with a beeping heart monitor.

She frowned and slowly opened her eyes. And shut them immediately again. It was far too white for her to care. Her mind slowly started to clear up. The narcotics or whatever finally starts to burn out of her system.

She could remember waking up in a prison cell like room with an ugly shade of pale green on the ceiling. She remembered finding herself cuffed to the bed. She remembered seeing her guns and katana on a table across the room where they were useless to her. She remembered trying to pull herself free of the cuffs and when that didn't work using both hands on the chain. She remembered pushing her feet against the bedrail and pulling. She remembered the thick smell of blood and the white/yellowish pillow staining red with her blood, and then the drowsy feeling of blood loss. She remembered the thick darkness that swallowed her then.

She lifted her right hand and opened her eyes again.

"Oh good, you're awake!" A familiar female voice said. She lifted her head and groaned softly. It was the doctor who didn't know how to make a white coat fit with what she wore.

She dropped her head back onto the pillow and gazed at her still up arm. The bandage was white. Too white, it had been changed recently. She didn't have the energy to do anything else. Her head pounded and she still felt drowsy. "Stryker." She stated. Not asked, stated. Why else would she be here?

The woman clapped her hands excitedly. It was like she thought Kelly was a five-year old who had just discovered that leaves are green and had pointed this out. "You're as smart as always!" She declared. It was as if she expected Kelly to start going dumb for some reason.

Kelly narrowed her eyes at the roof and dropped her hand to her side. She regretted it the moment her sore wrist jumped lightly on the hard bed. "Go away." She told the annoying doctor.

There was silence from the woman for a moment. "You know," her voice, sounded far more grownup than it did a minute ago "if you die here, they wouldn't even know. I'd just tell them that you did something stupid and bled out before we got to you."

Kelly opened her eyes; her narrowing had ended up with her closing them, and lifted her head slowly. "Kill me. If I'm here on Stryker's orders, you'll be dead by the end of this day for failing to keep me alive." She snapped.

She huffed. "You really aren't that special to this facility." She snapped in return.

Kelly grinned to the ceiling as she lay down again. "Good. Who'd want to be important to any facility dressed like a clown?" She mumbled under her breath.

The woman hissed something at her before walking out, slamming the door loudly. Kelly sat up slowly and waited until the dizzying motion faded away. Then she threw her legs over the side of the bed, slowly, pulled the IVs and stuff from her arms, listened to the monitor make a flat beep as it suddenly couldn't pick up her heart and got up. A set of clothes, hers she supposed, was on a chair.

She didn't touch the leather jacket.

The door was silent as a mouse when she opened it. Crazy psycho lady with no dress sense would be the one she started with. She was going to force answers out of the woman.

It was a different base. Three-mile Island seemed to have lost its charm to Stryker these days. The place bustled with people. It seemed like Stryker was always capable of forcing even more shit-faced morons into working for him. She could admit. She was one of those. Unmentionable stupidity radiates of these people.

After all, it's an every day appearance for a kidnapped hostage (she refused to think of herself as anything else in this godforsaken place) was allowed to walk randomly around the base.

She kept the fingertips of her left hand against the wall. It was just to keep herself on her feet. There was the good possibility that something has finally snapped. But she was sure that she is still Kelly. She's still Kelly who will never be really good at fighting, no matter how well she is trained. She will always be Kelly who is scared shitless of being left behind, but still makes connections with people who will leave. Or can. Doesn't matter.

The smell of old blood made her stop in front of the slightly ajar door. She studied it for a moment, barely sending a glance at the man rushing by her, nearly sending her into the ground. She pushed it open. It was the room she remembered. The blood on the pillow was dark now. The sort of metallic smell thick in the room. She could hear the buzzing of flies around the pillow. Scrunching up her nose she noticed that they hadn't moved her guns of katana. She grabbed the guns and shoved them into the jeans.

It only came to her notice now. The clothes felt dirty. Not the sort of visible grease stains dirty, just that they haven't been washed. She picked up one of the katana. She didn't have place for two at the moment. But she was going to give them hell with just the one. It was odd to her, how she always grabbed her weapons, but felt so damn guilty when she used them.

She froze, stiffened to the point of becoming a statue, the moment he door slammed open. "Oh God, who died?" She slowly turned around. Stryker, a couple of unknown soldiers, David and Wade stood in the door. All of them were gazing very intently at the bed.

Wade.

Wade died.

Wade was dead.

Wade wasn't alive.

Wade died because of her.

Victor was the only one who was looking at her. She crossed her arms and legs and leaned into the table. Whatever fear she had formerly felt for Victor seemed to have taken a long running vacation. She felt a cold bubbling anger build up in her.

She didn't know the three soldiers with them. She didn't want to know the three soldiers with them. If they worked willingly for Stryker it was good enough a reason to dislike them. And she was going to dislike them. For all she cared they could've been the president's three long lost sons and she still wouldn't like them.

David never would've left. That was something she figured a long time ago. Why, she wasn't sure. Maybe he just enjoyed Stryker's bossy attitude or whatever. Hell he's probably sleeping with the superiors. Whatever it is that makes him stay. That is his problem.

Wade?

Wade was self-explanatory. She saw him die. She watched him fade away. Wade wasn't supposed to look like he was looking. Wade wasn't supposed to be as good looking as he was. He wasn't supposed to look like her Greek god from the beach.

Wade should be dead. Six feet under the ground. A nameless grave in a nameless graveyard. He shouldn't be standing there looking at the bloodstained pillow with a look of realizing horror. He shouldn't look like he thinks she is dead.

"You smell like you need a shower, kid." Victor growls out.

Victor barely finished his sentence when she found herself wrapped in two strong arms, crushed to a chest and a face buried in her hair. "God, you're ok." He whispered. Wade whispered.

Wade shouldn't be talking. She didn't say anything. She just stayed there. She wanted so badly to melt into his warm comforting embrace. She wanted so badly to make him understand how much she missed him. How much she's needed him. She wanted to surgically attach him to her so he won't ever leave her again.

She wants him to get his hands off her. She wants him to feel pain and anger and hurt all at the same time. She wants him to understand what she went through for the last two years. She wants him to feel how much she's missed him, how much his absence has caused her pain.

But she didn't move. She didn't press her hands to his arm and didn't twist any of his feelings into what she felt. She didn't tell him to leave her alone. She didn't melt into him like she wanted to. She just didn't move.

He pushed her back and studied her. "Kelly?" He asked softly. There was something in his voice that was never there before. Fear. He was afraid. What the hell did he need to be afraid of? He hadn't been afraid when he had been sick. He sure as hell hadn't been afraid to just not tell her, or come look for her, in the last two years. And he sure as hell hadn't been afraid when he attacked the damn school.

So just what the fuck did Wade Wilson have to be afraid of? He was dead! The dead can't be afraid! They just don't do fucking afraid!

She lifted her hands. Started at the hem of his pants and moved them up across his chest until she came to collar. She curled her hands into a fist, bunching up the fabric and pulled him down. "Why aren't you dead?" She asked in a low angry tone. A dangerous soft snap.

He stared at her and grinned. "What? You like vampires?" He asked.

She stood very still for a moment. It wasn't her fault the bastard was so tall. Let him stand all bent over, not her problem. She reached her bandaged hand behind her back and pulled one of the guns from her jeans. She pressed the barrel into his temple and clicked the safety back. "I don't believe in vampires, Wilson." She snapped.

Hurt flashed behind his eyes. She kept her expression stony. What did he expect? She'd jump him the moment she saw him? Like hell. The dead doesn't just come back. If that was it, Carter would be walking around, telling her she's a spoilt brat. And he sure as hell can't expect it after attacking the mansion. Or cuffing her to a bed and causing her to think of the most stupid escape plan ever.

It was probably right up there with that cyanide pill thing some people bit into when they are captured.

Wade stood up, curled his hands around her one and tugged himself free. He pushed her gun down and gazed at her steadily for a moment. "Whatever you did, worked." He said as explanation.

She studied him. James's blood worked? But that's not possible. He stopped breathing. No breathing + no beating heart = dead. So how did it work?

"Yes, yes, it worked very well. Congratulations Miss Armstrong." Stryker snapped. Anger flashed behind his aged eyes. She wasn't sure why he was so angry or what gave him the right to be angry. "No offence to Wilson here, but you deprived me of the ability to create my perfect and ultimate weapon."

She glared at him. "Oh boo-hoo. I feel so swowwy for the big baby. He couldn't get his toy." She snapped in disgust.

He glared at her and stepped forward threateningly. She raised the gun without flinching. She felt she could make an exception to the rule for Stryker. She'd kill him if push came to shove. She really would and she wouldn't regret it. The world would owe her a medallion for doing that. "You won't shoot me." He said confidently. She lowered the gun enough that the bullet would only lodge into the ground and pulled the trigger. A bullet hole appeared right next to his foot.

"You sure about that?" She asked darkly. He didn't answer her. "What's in the closet?" She asked after a moment. She was going to walk out of here, whether they allowed her or not.

Crazy psycho doctor decided to make and appearance then. She held the leather jacket Kelly always wore by the collar. "You forgot this." She snapped and threw it to Kelly. Wade caught it and studied it for a moment.

He looked up at her and grinned. "This is mine." He said simply.

She ignored him. "The closet?" She asked again.

"Bags. Put down the gun, so we can talk." Victor growled.

She almost laughed and walked over to the closet, gun still trained in their general direction. Why didn't just unarm her was beyond her comprehension, but while they were that stupid, she was going to use it to her advantage. She pulled the door open and grabbed one of the bags and walked back to the table and Wade. She grabbed jacket from him and pulled it over her t-shirt.

As angry as she was, she had surgically attached herself to this jacket ever since he got sick. And there was no way she was giving up the jacket. She dropped the katana swords into it, and walked out. Glaring darkly at the psycho doctor as she passed her.

She got half way down the hall before she was lifted into the air. She really cursed her light weighted body structure. It was unfair that he could pick her up so easily. She knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't let go until she agreed to whatever it was that he wanted. "We need to talk. Just you and I. Can we do that? I'd really like it if we could talk." He said softly into her ear. "Just us. No one else." He continued. "I'll take you to dinner."

She felt herself give in. She couldn't believe she was going to give in so easily. And that just because it felt good to be wrapped up in his arms again. "Fine. We'll go to dinner."

He didn't let her go, he turned his face into her hair and kissed her just under her ear. "I missed you." He said softly.

She squirmed in his arms. "I said dinner, Wade. I did not say I forgive you." She said, squirming until he put her down.

He sighed and set her on her own two feet. "You cannot resist me. Not forever." He said cockily. She studied him.

She wondered for a moment if he was challenging her. She'd show him. "I've had two years of practice. I think I'm quite capable of doing so." She said.

He grinned at her. "Really? We'll see." He said and locked his hands behind his head and strolled off.

She stared at his back. What was it with her watching him leave her wanting more? She glowered at him. He starts something, but does he finish it, no of course not.

She was glad when he came to get her and was dressed as casually as she was. She had spent most of the days in her bra and panties in a new room waiting for her jeans and t-shirt to dry up. She was sure if she wanted to she'd have been able to convince Wade to lend her some of his clothes. But she didn't want him to get any sorts of ideas before they talked everything out.

She couldn't help but stare at him as he led the way out of the base. She walked a little behind him. The jeans hugged his hips. The black shirt sat comfortably tight (to her great displeasure, how the hell was she supposed to concentrate on a orderly conversation?). And a black jacket concealed the weapons she was sure he was carrying.

He was still as tall as ever. His hair was still a dark brown. His eyes were still glittering brown orbs of mischief and he looked exactly like he did before he got sick. He was big again. Not fading away.

She felt herself warm up on the inside. This was her Wade. She hoped it was her Wade. She believed it was her Wade. Because her Wade was a cocky bastard who liked to do stupid things but always came out on top. That was who her Wade was.

Outside he led her to a massive garage and inside the garage to a motorcycle. She studied it for a moment, then looked at Wade, who was already sitting on it. "You want me to get on that?" She asked. He nodded. "You can drive?"

He looked insulted. "Of course I can drive. Don't you trust me?" He asked.

She grinned at him. "Given the circumstance, no."

He sighed. He sounded almost like he was dealing with a difficult child. She got onto the motorcycle behind him. She refused to be seen as a difficult child, especially by him. "Thank you." He said with a sarcastic politeness.

She didn't respond and just clutched tightly to the front of his shirt as he pulled out. She didn't like motorcycles. She decided. Not at all. They went too fast and she could almost imagine a crash happening on them. She closed her eyes and buried her face in Wade's back.

The thudding of his heart filled her ears. She decided that she could listen to that sound forever and ever if he allowed her.

She mentally sighed. She was contradicting herself so bad she was confusing her own mind. One minute she was angry with him. The next she wanted nothing more than feel him. Have him. In every way possible.

The restaurant he stopped at was definitely not a do up place. Half the people inside were dressed casually. She smiled. She wasn't sure if he was doing this to make her comfortable or if this was where he usually went. A skinny waitress led them to a table, grinning at Wade. She didn't want to know why she was grinning at Wade like that.

Kelly beat the green monster in her chest down with a stick. She could almost imagine a mini cartoon her beating something greenish and cartoonish with a stick.

She ordered a glass of coke while Wade got some beer or the other. They sat in an almost suffocating silence. She could remember days they sat in silence and didn't have to worry one bit about feel uncomfortable. "I hate this." She muttered, breaking the suffocating silence on her own.

"We can go some…"

"I meant not being able to just sit here with you. It feels like I'm suffocating. Like…I don't know." She muttered interrupting him.

He smiled at her. "You want me to explain, right. You want me to tell you what happened?" He asked.

She sighed softly and wondered for a moment if she wanted to know. Would knowing make everything better? Would it make the weird uncomfortable feeling go away? "Will it make everything ok again?" She asked softly.

He was silent for a moment. "You've always been odd." He muttered. That wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear. "I mean you're angry as hell one minute. The next you look like you're about to cry. Then, on the bike, you held onto me like it was the end of the world. Are you pregnant?" He asked. "I heard pregnant woman are overly emotional."

She stared at him. He wants to talk things out, and he asks her if she's pregnant? What idiot does that? And just when was she supposed to get pregnant? She looked down at the coke and watched the bubbles rise. Was that what he thought about her? "Forget it." She muttered and got up.

She didn't wait for him to figure out what just happened. She just left. Maybe that was her problem. Maybe when things got too bad for her to handle she runs away. But that was ok. She did just that. The moment she knew no one could see her through the windows of the restaurant she took off running. The small town had a park near the edges of the town. She could tell the town was ending because beyond the park there was nothing but road.

She sat down on one of the swings. Her training with Hiroshi had made her better at handling long distances of running. Where the old Japanese man never really got angry, it was like an explosion when he did get angry. He had made her run the length of the village. From the pass entrance to the inn. And when he was particularly angry, she had to do this at least four times in four hours. While it wasn't a particularly big village, it was still big enough to cause you hell for trying to run it. Eventually she got it right though.

She sighed as she realized she was evading what had just happened. She missed him. She had missed him so much. She had thought he was dead. For a girl who had thought the one guy she loved more than anything in the world was dead, she had accepted his return rather easily. Maybe it was because for all those years she didn't honestly believe he was dead. She believed he was gone. But not dead. There was a difference.

She wondered for a moment if what he really wanted to talk about was a point of view on their relationship. They've been apart for two years straight. When you're together it's easier to see the relationship change. But she thought he was gone and she doesn't even know what he thought during that time. What point is there in continuing a relationship that just doesn't have its foundation anymore?

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…Kelly, I missed you. You have no idea what it was like waking up in that place and not being able to remember what had just happened. The only thing I saw in front of me for two years was you. I didn't know what happened to you. Where you were. If you were alright.

'Every time I thought that maybe it was better that way. Every time I thought that you might've been able to move on. Might've found yourself someone who could actually take care of you. Who didn't have a history like mine, I felt like I could kill someone.

'Stryker made me an offer I couldn't deny. He told me that if I went back into service with him. If I became his lab rat, he'd help me find you. I just wanted to get you back. I didn't care about the tests. I didn't care about what Stryker did, I just wanted you back." He stopped talking for a minute.

She had nearly had a heart attack when he suddenly talked. She didn't even know he had been there. She didn't even hear him show up. She heard him walking and a moment later he stood crouched in front of her. His hands were on her knees. "You wanted to know what happened. Wanted to know why I'm not dead. Why, I can't really say. I just know that whatever you did, with the blood or whatever that were, it worked better than anyone expected. No matter what Stryker did, he couldn't make me into what he wanted. I woke up and walked around in dead silence. There was nothing, Kelly. It looked like war had broken out in the place. But Stryker found me. And he promised me that I would get you back.

'At the school, I was there for you. I don't care about those obnoxious little shit heads. I don't care whether they have pneumonia or some shit like that. I just care that I found you. That's it. I swear." He lifted his hand to her face and wiped at the tears there.

She sat quietly for a moment and then dove him into the ground, her arms around his neck and her face buried in his chest. "Come back with me. Please." She whispered softly.

She felt his arms wrap around her back and only tightened her own grip. She felt like she could lay on top of him like that forever and never move.

"So does this mean I'm forgiven?"


	13. Chapter 13

**I just realized I didn't really base this on and official timeline. So just to clear things up a little I will explain. **

**James (Logan), Victor and Kelly were recruited for Team X in 1975, just after the Vietnam war. James (Logan) left that same year. From 1975 - 1981 Kelly worked for Stryker. 1979 - 1981 Kelly dated Wade. In '81 Wade 'died'. From '81 - '83 she was in Japan training with Hiroshi. In '83 she was reunited with Wade. She married Wade in '84. **

**They have five children (this will be explained in the story):**

**Collin Winston Wilson - 18 - Born in '88 (May 6)**

**James Chris Wilson - 18 - Born in '88 (May 6)**

**Casey Carter Wilson - 15 - Born in '91 (July 7)**

**Kay Emily Wilson - 14 - Born in '92 (November 11)**

**Tanya Logan Wilson - 3 - Born in '03 (October 8)**

**Kelly was born in 1958. **

**A lot, I know. But Enjoy!**

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Kelly sighed and stretched herself out under the blankets. She smiled happily to herself as she stretched her hands out in front of her. Her silver and amethyst wedding band glittered in the sun blinking through the open window. She studied the ring for a moment. She smiled. She still, very often in the mornings when she's just woken up, couldn't believe she actually married the insane bastard.

But there she was, in their bed listening for the sounds of her family. Wade was Wade. When Collin, the eldest of the brood had been born it took her two years just to get him to go near the boy. And every time he did, Collin would scream as if he was being murdered. James would follow Wade everywhere. Wade avoided going near the boy, she had believed that he was afraid of something, eventually James got what he wanted. As a child he loved to spend his time with Wade, until he grew older, then he became a loner. When Casey had been born, he spent every one of Wade's waking moments in Wade's arms. The poor boy had nearly been surgically attached to his father's hip up until the age of six. Kay was given some freedom. But seeing as she was Wade's first daughter, she spent nearly as much time in his arms. By the age of three she threw a tantrum about it though, so Wade stopped carrying her everywhere. Tanya was the first in the family that spent most of her time with Kelly.

Collin was the spitting image of his father. He was tall, large and the exact opposite of his father. He was polite, patient and tolerant. For a boy his age he had more respect for the people around him than she had expected him to have. And not unlike the rest of the family he was a mutant. Kelly figured it'd have been odd if he didn't turn out as one. He has the ability of animation. And a serious competitive streak with his brothers and sister.

James also looked exactly like Wade. He's Collin's identical twin and so different from the older boy you'd almost think they weren't family. James is the silent and brooding type. Kelly was sometimes afraid of him. The boy was dark. But she loved him none the less. She knew he wouldn't do anything bad. And he was about as temperamental and a goldfish. But she worried about him. Unlike the rest of his siblings James knew exactly what he wanted out of life. And he wants the position Hank McCoy sits in now. He has the ability to create various plasma attacks. And he enjoys throwing those into his father's face. It's a phase. She's sure.

Casey had black hair and his grandfather's bright blue eyes. He had a smallish built and was nearly exactly like his father. Casey seemed to always be in the one or the other phase. He was always going on and on about this or that, and he always seemed to have a new girlfriend. Neither Kelly nor Wade has ever met any of his girlfriends. And he had a reply on that as well. "I don't want the parentals screwing up my chances of getting laid!" Wade found this hilarious. Kelly didn't. Casey could create and manipulate fire. Storm had nicknamed him Blaze, mostly because when his temper flared up, so did his mutation.

Kay was a lot like her. Or at least like her before Carter had died. She enjoyed going out and loved a good party. Kay was somewhere between a mix. She would sit down and read a book if it interested her and be sassy mouthed about something when someone made her angry. She had Wade's mother's green eyes. Kelly didn't know this for sure, but Wade swore his life on it. She also had dark brown hair, like Wade. She has the ability of Mimicry. She loves copy combative powers.

Kelly's half worried that all her children will have a combative streak in them.

Tanya was the youngest. She was barely three years old. And has yet to show any powers. She looks like a younger version of Kelly. Black hair and brown eyes. And she loves nothing more than playing with her dollies with her mommy. Wade was terribly excited about finding out what she'd be able to do.

Kelly frowned slight at the silence in the house. She usually woke up to a jumping Tanya, Wade trying to burn the house down, Collin and Casey arguing about the one or the other thing and James threatening Kay who then vows to tell her.

She quickly got up when she remembered which day it was. Magneto and his bunch of over excited morons were going to that Island with the kid. Jam…Logan had asked her if she wanted to go along, but she had declined. She had decided that she'd much rather stay with her daughters. She didn't like the idea of her boys going out there, she didn't like the idea of any of her boys going out there, but she knew that all of them would rather die than stay out of a fight. Even Collin who was so polite.

She grabbed a pair of clean jeans and a t-shirt and ran across the expanse of the backyard of Xavier's school and into the building. She knew where they'd be anyway. She hit the underground metal looking hall and smirked when she saw Wade's back to her. Storm had Tanya in her arms. Collin was talking in hushed tones to James. Logan was preaching to Casey and Kitty was smiling at her. Kelly sprinted as quietly as possible down the hall and jumped onto Wade's back. "Morning." She chirped cheerily.

His hands automatically hooked under her legs. Collin and James looked up at her and smiled their identical smiles at her. She waved to them from Wade's back. Storm always complained that for a forty-eight year old woman she looked and acted far too young. Kelly knew it had something to do with that age suppressant Stryker had given them. She didn't look one bit over thirty-five. Most people were shocked to find out how old she really was.

"Mommy! Mommy! Daddy and Big brothers are going to that island thingy and saving that boy from crazy metal man." Tanya said squirming out of Storm's hands. She dropped to the ground and caught her baby girl.

"Hey Angel." She said with a laugh. Wade turned around and kissed her.

"Oi! Hey! Come on! Dad! Stop it! I do not need to see my parents making out!" Casey's words echoed around the room. Kelly smiled against Wade's mouth and pulled back. "Morning mom." He greeted when he pulled his hands away from his face.

She set the girl in her arms down and smiled at him. "So…did you finish that assignment? We had a deal remember?"

Wade cleared his throat and stepped out of reaching distance. "I told him he could go." He said.

Kay smirked smugly. "So that means he stays right?" She asked. Kelly sighed. The girl was as competitive as her damn brothers.

She shrugged. "You're father is the man of the house, isn't he?" She asked and casually walked over to the twins. "Take care of Casey, got it?"

Collin nodded and hugged her with his one arm. James crossed his arms. "If I don't kill him first. Or Uncle Logan." He muttered.

She smiled at him. "Just bring him back. I want my boys to come home." She kissed him on the cheek before he could run off. He glowered at her as she walked back to Wade.

She squirmed her into his side and held on. She was as much in love with him as the first time. And she'll always be that in love with him. She smiled when he kissed the top of her head. "Mom! I want to go!" Kay informed her with a foot stamp.

She nodded slowly. "Ask your father." She said.

She felt rather than heard the rumbling chuckle coming from Wade. "Dad? Please. I'll stick close to James or Uncle Logan or you. Please. I swear. I'll do my homework for six months. I'll take Tanya with me when she asks and I'll do all my chores." She said. "And Kitty can go." She added as an after thought.

Kelly watched as Storm shifted uncomfortably. The fact that all these kids went, didn't sit right with the dark skinned woman. It didn't sit right with Kelly. But they had enough strength going with them. Wade was going to enjoy this fight far too much; she knew that, he hadn't had a decent fight in over twenty years.

Wade seemed to actually think about it. He studied Kitty to the point where she shifted uncomfortably. "Did you know…that I'm not Kitty's father?" He asked Kay.

She stared at him like he was some alien and then stomped in the direction of the stairs. Wade sighed. "Time to go." Logan said suddenly.

She held onto Wade tightly. "Bring my boys back, ok?" She asked softly. She stood on her toes. "All of my boys." She kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck and almost laughing when he lifted her to wrap her legs around his waist.

He grinned seductively against her mouth. "You know, if they don't come back we can always make new ones."

She whacked him across the head. "Hey dad, if you ever say that again, I will tell Tanya where babies come from and what you did to mom." Collin threatened casually as he walked by them.

Tanya heard only one part. Daddy did something to her Mommy. She glared at Wade and crossed her arms in a manner she's seen Kelly do. Kelly laughed softly. Kissed Wade again and dropped down onto the ground to pick up her little Angel. "I'll talk to Kay."

He sighed and glanced at the door, nodded and then followed the others to the plane. She watched them go and felt something clench in her. Wade would keep her boys alive. She knew that. She also knew that her boys would keep each other alive. But it was still a scary feeling watching her children walk off to the war of a mad man.

She tightened her grip on her baby girl. They'll come back. They always do. Wherever they go, they always come back. She smiled at her baby girl and started walking towards the stairs.

Talking to a teenage girl who didn't get her way didn't always go down so well. But at least Kay was an understanding kid. The two girls both slept on the bed with her when night time finally came. The only feeling she had was and empty and cold fear building up in her. Her boys weren't in the house, like they normally were. Eventually she fell asleep with the picture of her boys in her head.

Wade shifted the weight of the sleeping boy in his arms. He ignored the weird looks some of the kids sent them as they walked through the front doors. Ten seconds away from the whole fight and Casey passes out. Deep in him Wade knew the kid should've stayed home. He was a strong fighter, but he was still a kid.

And what made it even more a fact, he was Wade's kid. Logan walked next to him. He had the blonde haired Pyro thrown over his shoulder and looked like he had just been to the grave of his dead mother. In reality he guessed it worse. The poor man just didn't have any luck with woman. They either get shot because he needs to find revenge or he has to kill him.

Casey shifted in his arms, pressing his face deeper into Wade's neck. Wade almost laughed; the kid wouldn't live this down. Not from the grin on Collin's face. "You leave him alone." He ordered as the four of them walked back to the cottage. Casey was Kelly's baby boy. Casey could get away with murder on the woman's watch. There wasn't one child that got more attention or love than the other. But Wade always figured that Casey would forever be special to Kelly.

It wasn't because of anything unnatural or so. It just took her a while to get pregnant with him. Four miscarriages and a near accident before the boy actually made his way into the world. Kelly didn't know it, but the guy who had caused her to nearly have a fifth miscarriage was still missing. Or at least to the rest of the world. Wade wasn't sure, but he was quite certain that if they found him now, he'd be nothing but decomposing human flesh.

Collin grinned. "Would I ever do anything to make his life hell?" He asked. Wade didn't answer. He knew his kids better than they thought he did. Sometimes he didn't think he was that great a dad. But his kids did grow up good. There was nothing wrong with them. But their constant arguing. He assumed it was the age differences.

James opened the door and stepped aside so he could walk through. James was carrying both his katana swords; it was rather difficult having the kid in his arms and the swords on his back. He was an old man. Age suppressant and instant healing be damned.

Casey's room was always immaculately clean. For a kid who went through a series of variously dangerous phases he did do his chores. He listened to authority and he did his homework. He pulled the blankets back and sat the kid down, pulled off the leather jacket and boots and pants. Leather was not all that fun to sleep in. Casey snuggled up to his pillow almost immediately. Wade smiled as he pulled the covers over him and kissed the top of his head.

He nearly had a heart attack when he saw James watching him. He had his arms crossed and was leaning into the door frame. Wade sometimes found it odd to look into the teenage version of him. He literally saw three different versions of himself daily. "You ok?" He asked.

James nodded. "Just thinking. I put Kay and Tanya in their own beds, by the way." He said. Wade knew the boy better than he knew the other two. He knew that James scared Kelly sometimes. But he also knew that James didn't mean to scare his mother. He didn't do it on purpose; it was just the way he was. He was a lot like the man he was named after.

"What are you thinking about? I don't imagine your brother often occupying your thoughts." James shot him a nasty glare. He lifted his hands in the universal sign of defence as Collin joined them.

Collin grinned as he studied his younger brother. "I don't assume the idiot knows mom will kill him for that shiner he's got?" He asked. "God, I'm gonna enjoy rubbing his passing out into his face."

James whacked him against the head. "Leave him alone, asshole." He snapped.

Collin smirked and pressed his hands over his heart and looked mock shocked. "Shit! Who the hell are you and what have you done with my twin?" He asked.

"Be nice." Wade chided as he ushered them out of the room and went to Kay's room. She had already messed up the blankets, somehow wrapped them around her legs and found herself horizontally across her bed. Wade remembered a time when each of these kids went through the 'sleep with mom and dad' phase. It was hell sleeping in the same bed as Kay.

He walked in and laid her out right again. He knew she'd just find her way across the bed again. "I was thinking about how I'd like to be like you when I grow up." James said as Wade dropped a kiss onto Kay's head.

Collin nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I want a wife like mom. I want someone who'd go to the ends of the world for me." He said. "Who I'd want to go the ends of the world for." Wade didn't say anything. He knew better than anyone to keep a girl like Kelly at your side was work. It was hard work, but it was something that they would have to learn on their own. He couldn't tell them. They'd have to feel it to understand it. And telling two eighteen year old boys that they would need to work on a relationship would be like talking to a wall.

Wade left for Tanya's room. This was their baby. All of them. The boys would often pretend that a three year old sister annoyed them; that their fourteen year old sister angered them, but the girls in this family were well protected. Better than any girl on the planet. He kissed the little one's forehead and walked out to the kitchen. Tanya was a well planned accident. Not a really bad accident or anything, but Wade hadn't exactly expected Kelly to get pregnant again.

For all intents and purposes his twins were far too much like him. All three of them knew they weren't going to sleep now. They'd lay in bed, but won't sleep. Wade didn't mind, he liked watching Kelly sleep. "I've never told you the story about how I met your mother, have I?" He asked as he put the kettle on.

The two boys studied him for a moment. It was that studying only these two could do at the exact same time. They could instil a feeling of utter stupidity by just looking at a person. "No." James said. "But mom has." He continued. And then they would give you this subtle hint of why you are stupid.

Wade couldn't help but be surprised for a second. "She did?" He asked. It was a stupid question. James didn't lie often. He found it time wasting. Something about not wanting to waste his time with thinking up a lie and then having to tell the truth later.

Collin glanced at James. "Some of it. She just told us about how she married you. You should know this. It was James's favourite bed time story for like years." He said. Wade couldn't help but doubt that. James wasn't always the brooding dark kid he was now, but it was still hard to see him as kid now. Even if Wade had been their for all of it.

James glared at the boy and Wade smirked at them. "You should appreciate her." He said after a moment. "All of them." He continued. He turned his back to them stared out the window. "Sometimes you don't realize what you've got until it's gone."

They stayed silent for a moment. "How'd it feel loosing her?" James was smarter than he looked.

Wade stayed quiet for a long time. A very long time. The day he woke up and found nothing but an empty base, he felt like he was dying. Truly honestly dying. It wasn't the cancer killing him. It wasn't the blood mixing. It was the idea that Kelly might never come back. That Kelly would move on from him that killed him.

He loved her far too much to allow that.

Kelly always did more, for him, than she needed to do. She gave him five beautiful children. She gave him a home. She gave him her heart.

"Daddy?" He looked at the door leading to the hall and smiled at Kay. The girl looked like a bird tried to make a nest in her hair. "I'm glad you guys are back." She said and walked to the fridge.

"Good morning." He said smiling.

"Hey Half-pint." Collin greeted taking the coffee Wade offered him.

She studied the silent James for a moment as she took a sip from her juice, then went around the island and hugged him. "Morning." He muttered. Wade just shook his head. It was half funny to see his eldest boys and eldest girl standing in various stages of dress and undress.

James still stood in his all black leather outfit for this fight. Collin had on a t-shirt of his and the leather pants. And Kay stood in what she called pyjamas. A spaghetti shirt and her bright blue girl boxers.

"Go to bed." He told them. Collin lifted his coffee in salute and Kay nodded before they both disappeared down the hall.

"Are you going to answer me?" James asked.

"About your mother?" Wade asked in return. He nodded. "Pure, blistering hell. That's how it felt."

James smirked. "You deserved it." He stated.

Wade huffed. "You'd know that how?" He asked.

"Because only a stupid guy would leave mom. Goodnight…sleep well dad." James left as well, coffee in hand.

Wade went back to looking as the sun came up. When he found out he was sick he had promised to tell Kelly immediately. He had first gone to a doctor in town. But as he walking down to the jeep he had borrowed from the base, he walked past a flower shop. There was a bunch of red roses in the window and he, spontaneously, decided to get one for her.

It had been fake, but that was sort of the point. He had wanted to make her understand. He had needed to make her understand that he was scared. He didn't want to leave her. But the doctor had told him the cancer was spreading at a ridiculously fast pace. That he didn't have very long. A year or two max.

It had taken him nine months to realize that the doctors at base already knew about the cancer. It hadn't been until the cages that he knew Kelly knew. He had suspected, but never really knew. And then she started with the blankets and the DNA thing. At first he had just wanted her to stop. To stop give him some sort of hope. But then he realized she was doing it because she needed him to have hope.

That had been the hardest part. He was a merciless killer. He wasn't afraid of anything in the world. He installed the fear in others. He made them wish, beg for mercy. But he knew when something was a lost cause. When there was no hope left to spend.

He had never thought that one woman would do so much just to make someone believe. To make someone hope and expect the best.

The day she had injected the blood in him, he had been able to feel it burn it's way through him. And he was half aware of everything around him. He had heard her scream. But then the silence.

At first he had thought someone had shot her. That was the reason for the sudden silence. That thought had destroyed him. He had wanted to open his eyes but it had felt liked they'd been stapled shut and he couldn't think of anything other than how he needed to save her no matter what.

Wade took a sip of the coffee and relished in the warmth spreading inside him.

He didn't know for how long believed nothing could bring him to his knees. But he had learned there was something that could. Any man could bring him to his knees. Maybe had been untouchable before. But Kelly changed that. She gave him a reason to truly live. And the kids gave him an even bigger reason to be everything he could.

"A thinking Wade Wilson is a bad Wade Wilson." He looked down at the voice literally just under him. Kelly grinned up at him. "Welcome home." She whispered softly.

She ran her hands across his chest. The rising sun glinted off the ring he had put on her finger more than twenty years ago. "I missed you." He said leaning down and kissing her.

He smirked against her mouth. No matter how old they got, they'd always love each other. And he was sure there was no man on the planet that could excite her like he could.

"I love you." He just kissed her in answer.

Wade Wilson would forever be more interesting than a book. Would forever more love his wife. And have five children will somehow accomplish to give him grey hair.

But to hell with it all.

He loved them more than anything in the world.


End file.
